Alone (Book One)
by DreadingTheDayWhenYou'reGone
Summary: Zia became trapped in the same iceberg that froze Aang, but her life took a different pace. Always too late, always missing from Aang's own action, Zia's life and viewpoint becomes wrapped and different from her own. A journey of an airbender through the lens of firebenders.
1. The Boy in the Iceberg

**Could it be? The Alone Trilogy back from the dead? It is! Bam! I am reediting the story, fixing the plot holes and discrepancies and editing errors, because wow, fifteen year old me sucked. I am changing some major things, such as Zia no longer has her master tattoos, and she is actually from the Eastern Air Temple. Her friendship with Aang is a little more unsteady because of this. I'm looking to update about once a week, maybe twice, depending on my schedule. I'm writing a _lot_ of different things, and I'm desperately trying to cling onto so degree of self worth and to keep my depression at bay. I'm posting this again because I realized the people that had me take it down have little claim, especially since the majority of the story is original. And their original DMs don't exist anymore, not that I can see, and I actually read all the terms & guidelines all the way through. Anyway, here we are, back again. Happy 15th anniversary ATLA. **

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Avatar the Last Airbender and I'm just here to share some stories. **

* * *

I watch as Aang takes flight on his flying bison, Appa. Why is he leaving at a time like this? It's storming, and hard. I grab my staff and jump out my window, hoping to catch up to him. I yell, "Aang!" but my voice is carried off into the blowing wind. _Where_ is _he going? It's nearly midnight, the storm is raging past, and he dares to take Appa out in this weather? Does he have a death wish?_

I try to yell again, but proceed with the same luck. The wind is snapping at my glider, making it creak back and forth in the chilling rain. I have to catch up with him before I'm taken away by the wind. "Aang!" I yell at the top of my lungs, hoping he would at least hear a vowel of my plea.

His head snaps back, looking for the faint sound he heard moments ago. "Aang!" I yell again.

"Zia?" he yells, his voice barely carried in the rain. "Zia! What are you doing?" Aang brings back the reins of Appa, slowing him down, trying to turn around to catch me.

Appa flies under me; Aang holds a helping hand up to me. "Grab my hand, Zia! Before you're swept into the wind!" Aang yells to be heard over the roaring wind and. . . is that the ocean I see under me?

I slowly take a hand away from the staff, losing my balance and falling, barely hanging onto the staff and missing Aang's hand by an inch. The staff snaps closed, bringing the air into the empty space the wings once belonged to. I fall faster than before, the ghost of a scream on my lips. "Zia!" Aang yells as I fall to the sea below. Far below. "Appa! Yip yip!" I hear Aang yell, bringing him into a steep nose dive.

_Why did I follow Aang?_I ask myself. _If I didn't I would be in my bed right now, safe and sound. Not asleep, but safe._

"Zia!" Aang's voice comes directly above me. Quickly, the bald boy wraps the leather straps of Appa's reins around his feet and jumps, arms outstretched. He grabs a hold of my left arm, the one not holding onto the staff, and pulls up.

"Don't let go!" he says, pulling me up. "Appa!" The flying bison pulls quickly up, missing the water by a meter. My long brown hair clings to my wet, shaved forehead where my own airbending tattoos will go.

"What were you doing, Zia?" Aang's face looks over mine. He was the only one who really talked to the visiting female monks from the Eastern Air Temple. It helped that he was funny, and friendly, and greeted me as if I had lived with him my whole life.

Then he stopped showing up for the lessons even when I showed up. That was odd for him, but then he earned his tattoos around his tenth birthday. He had mastered airbending, and all the young monks were in awe, even my masters from the Eastern Temple.

I watched as he slowly stopped showing up at all to the co-ed lessons. One day, he was called to talk to the monks, saying something about being the Avatar. I never listened to the gossip the other students spread so I dismissed it all. Because, if Aang really was the Avatar, he would tell me. Or, that's what I thought.

"Following you," I answer. "Why did you leave?

"Because . . . because I couldn't handle it anymore."

"Handle wha-" I'm interrupted by Appa falling suddenly in the water, overtaken by the crashing of waves and salt getting in my mouth. He tries to come back up, but we're dragged farther into the water. Aang's hand tries to reach for mine, but is lost to the sea. I can see Aang's bald head move up and down in the water, and yell, "Aang?"

No answer as I'm dragged into the water and unable to get back up. A light flashes and I'm encased by a world of air. Everything stops, my vision blanks and all is gone.

* * *

My world appears cold as an ice shattering sound envelopes my ears. From my position on the inside of the ice, everything looks murky, as if I'm swimming in a dirty pond of water. It takes me too long to get my bearings, to figure out what's happening. _Where am I? Where's Aang? _is all I'm able to think. I'm laying in a pile of snow on the other side of a bank of snow, where I can hear voices coming from that seem to be arguing.

"Katara! Stop! It could be Fire Nation!" a voice yells.

"Sokka! Stop. He needs help!"

"Aang?" I whisper, because that's the last memory I have, of Aang falling into the water and reaching for me. No reply, my body shivers. That's when I notice I'm freezing cold in just my orange shawl over my yellow sleeved shirt and brown pants. The cool air rips at my skin causing me to shiver more.

"Look, Sokka! There's a boy up there!"

"Katara! No!"

A blinding blue beam shoots up into the sky, and I cover my eyes from the blast. "That could have been a flare to nearby Fire Nation! Let's go!"

"And how would we do that? The canoe's gone."

There's silence for a few moments, and I shiver from behind a snow drift. Breaking the silence comes an all too familiar voice asking, "Will you come penguin sledding with me?"

A softer nicer voice, the one that was advocating for us, says, "Uh, sure. I guess."

I scramble up from the deep pile of snow, not wanting to be found for some reason, not knowing what lay over that mound of ice and snow that I saw Aang stagger down from. Aang starts to ask Appa if he's all right, two other figures scramble up the hill, dressed in cold weather clothing. They can't see me from my position mostly in the snow, too preoccupied with Aang and Appa and their conversation.

Appa growls, signifying that he's all right. Suddenly, Appa sneezes and I hear Aang yell, "Look out!" I watch as snot flies and hits the older boy. I stifle a laugh, as the boy is obviously disgusted by Appa's boogers.

An annoying voice yelps, "Eww! Ahh! Eww!"

Aang says to the voice, "Don't worry. It'll wash out. So, do you guys live around here?"

The voice that got covered in boogers says, "Don't answer that! Did you see that crazy bolt of light? He was probably trying to flare down the Fire Navy."

_Fire Navy? What's that_? I think to myself, leaning against the mountain of snow, still spying on the three. I know what the Fire Navy - I've been taught about other nation's war tactics. But why would they be here? We're not in a war?

The gentle girl that answered Aang's penguin sledding question says, sarcastically, "Oh, yeah, I'm sure he's a spy for the Fire Navy. You can tell by that evil look in his eye!"

There's silence for a moment until she continues, "The paranoid one is my brother, Sokka, and I'm Katara. You never told us your name."

"I'm- Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah-choo!" Aang sneezes, flying fifty feet in the air. I watch as he slowly descends. He doesn't seem to look worried for me, as if he forgot I followed him. He lands and says, "I'm Aang!"

Sokka says something about flying ten feet in the air, and Katara comes to the conclusion that Aang's an airbender. Sokka then says, "Weird beams of blue light, flying bison, airbenders. . . I think I got Midnight Sun Madness. I'm going home to where stuff makes sense."

There's a long silence until Aang says, "Well if you guys can't get back, Aapa and I can give you a lift."

Katara says something about loving to, and Sokka says, "Oh no! I'm not getting on that fluffy snot monster."

"Are you hoping that some other kind of monster will come along and give you a ride home? You know, before you freeze to death."

Sokka starts to say something but sighs and gets on Appa. I peek my head above the ice and snow to see if Aang remembers that he has a third would be passenger. He doesn't seem to notice I'm gone, he tells Katara and Sokka to hold on, and says, "Appa! Yip, yip!" I vaguely acknowledge the hurt in my chest and the fact that he left me, and watch.

Appa groans and flaps his tail, falling into the water. They leave me stranded. There's a trail of ice floating off in the direction they were headed. It might not be much but it is worth a chance. I jump from ice-pad to ice-pad, following the swimming Appa and toward Katara and Sokka's village. Hopefully, toward safety. I think about the hurt in my chest as I watch them disappear and wonder why it isn't bigger, more consuming.


	2. The Avatar Returns

After trailing the trio for a while, I notice someone buried in one of the patches of ice. Buried half in snow and pointing out of the whiteness is my staff. I reach a hand down to pick it up. As I hold it before me, I attempt to send a blast of air up it, but nothing happens. Maybe the same lethargy that affected Appa is also affecting me. The wings are frozen to the wood, too. I have to melt them.

So I turn, staff in hand, and begin my way toward Aang again. I'm slowly making my way along the patches of ice. Slowly but surely. A while ago Appa disappeared into the horizon, taking the noise of Aang and the newcomers with them. With their disappearance, went all my distractions, and the cold starts to set in.

Oh, how I would kill for something warm and welcoming. Something friendly. But all that is here is barren land and a descending sun and a never ending landscape of ice and snow. I know that stopping will be the end of me, that I would freeze to death out here, so I continue in the same direction as Aang, hoping for some obstruction in the horizon.

Hours seem to pass as I keep hopping and the sun never sets, as if it's frozen on the horizon. I can finally see a village in the distance. I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep out here because, one, I have no idea where I am, and, two, I might freeze to death. But I now have hope, as the village means people and people mean warmth. So I continue, tired and hungry and very, very cold. I can't feel some parts of my body and wonder if I ever will, knowing what frostbite can do to some.

A bright red flare shoots into the air, not too far from the village, and I vaguely wonder what's going on. There's also something wrong with the snow, I begin to realize. It is no longer white; it has turned a dark shade of black, and the snow is falling, thick with darkness.

_That is so not normal_, I think. _But then again, I just woke up in an iceberg and left there, so nothing is really normal now. _I land on solid ground, well land no longer shifting with the water, but still not very solid seeing as one misstep could send you back to the watery deeps. The village is still a good deal ahead of me, so I walk and run at intervals, my breath coming out in pants that cloud in front of my face. I am desperate now, desperate to get closer to whatever is happening.

I'm fairly close to the village now, and I watch as a ship that must be the cause of all the black snow pull out of the village. This has me running at full speed to get to the ship before it fully pulls away from the village. What if something bad, like Aang leaving me on the ship, happens and I never catch up with him?

The cold air seems to wrap around my body and give me a boost forward. I am nearly there by the time the ship is off. But when I slow, panting and wanting to sleep, it is gone and I'm stumbling into the village, cold and exhausted. The people that live here are busy at work trying to repair their village, packing snow to create the walls, stacking cubes of snow and ice together to fix their house, and many other things. I understand now that the ship was not friendly, that this village is not a port, that something drastic has occurred and I may be too late.

I spy a girl and a boy chatting somewhere near an igloo, their voices sending a spark of recognition through my body. They are the two that went with Aang, but where's Aang? I stagger, falling and landing roughly on the snow. Despite its coldness, I feel myself curling into the warmth of sleep.

I curl into a ball and drift away, aware of the coldness that is my body. I can barely feel my fingers and hands; the warmth has left them. Far off I feel someone pick me up, lifting me away from the cold ground and carrying me into an igloo, where it is warmer, and I can feel someone rubbing my hands and legs before I pass out.

* * *

I'm falling through the air, my body cold and wet. I'm back with Aang, falling through the sky on the stormy night, straight to the sea. Aang's yelling my name and I plunge into the dark depths of the water.

My head comes up and I take in a gulp of air. I catch sight of Aang's tattooed head before going under again. My head comes up once more and I try to scream for Aang but water fills my mouth, dragging me down deep. A bright light shines before I lose consciousness. It stops my decent and I feel air come into my lungs. I sleep still, sleep with someone nearby, waiting to arrive and maybe save me.

* * *

I jump awake, my body shivering from the dream and the cold. Somebody is next to me. I look at her and look into the warm eyes of an elderly lady.

"You're awake," she says. Her cocoa brown skin, which probably was once smooth, is wrinkled. She has blue eyes that twinkle and gray hair that was most likely brown a long time ago is done with two hair-loopies that hug her face. The woman is dabbing some kind of cloth with warm water on my shaved forehead, but it doesn't help the cold, the cold that has its fingers wrapped around my heart.

I try and sit up, but I can hardly feel my fingers, let alone sit up.

"Are you perhaps an airbender?" the lady asks.

I ponder how she knows, and answer, "Yes; how did you know?"

"My granddaughter, Katara, found a boy with similar clothes in an iceberg. There's not many new people here, so I assumed you were with the boy named Aang."

"Aang? Where is he?" I stammer out and try to sit up again, this time succeeding.

"I'm sorry, but he is not here anymore. Neither are my grandchildren."

"Where is he?"

"A Fire Nation boy came and said that Aang was the Avatar."

"Avatar? Aang the Avatar?" My mouth falls open, surprised because the children at the temple were right. And I wonder why in the world Aang never told me, never told his friend. Or why I never believed them.

"Yes, my grandchildren went off in search of him on that flying bison."

"Appa!"

She nods at my exclamation, understanding that I've missed out on the trio that was really my only success in following Aang.

I stand on cold feet and run out of the igloo to be met by the same thing that I saw earlier. People are still working on filling the gap in the ice, others are sitting before fires and trying to stay warm. But there is no Aang. "Wait, where am I?" I ask, turning around to look at the old woman.

"The South Pole," the woman simply says and hands me a bowl of soup, the warmth leaking into my fingers.

"The South Pole? But how is that possible?" I stare at the bowl, looking at the liquid as it swirls in the cold, as the dark liquid sets steam off its surface. Attentively, I take a gulp of the warm soup and it tastes just like water and something else that I can't quite name. It makes sense, since the positioning of the Southern Air Temple, but is this where Aang was headed?

"I'm assuming you've come from the Southern Air Temple, which isn't terribly far from here.. What is your name, dear?"

"Zia."

"Zia," she whispers my name like she knew it before, "what a beautiful name. Mine is Kanna."

I nod, finishing the soup in one last gulp and staring at the black dot that is the Fire Nation ship. "Where are they going?"

"Aang was taken prisoner on a Fire Navy warship, like I said before. My grandchildren went in search of him on Appa." She walks out of the igloo to point at the sea. "See where there is a break in the ice?" I nod. "The warship was headed that way, but there is no way that you will catch it in a canoe. Which is why my grandchildren took the flying bison."

"I can improvise," I tell her and begin to head for the dent in the ice. I forget to thank her, and look back briefly to wave at her. The feeling has come back to all of my body parts and I'm well rested and fed. My staff lays next to the igloo. Grasping it, I look it up and down to make sure it is no longer frozen.

I open it and take to the air quickly, feeling for the air currents, gaining some speed to catch up to them. It's cold, and I want to take breaks, but know that it would be disastrous. I begin to think of why a Fire Nation boy would take Aang if we are not in a war. No good reason comes to mind.

But the whole situation feels off, like I have stopped experiencing time and aging, that the world has flashed by, that since Katara and Sokka said something about the Fire Navy and flares that it's been longer. I have no real way to tell, no way to know how much time has passed, so I continue forward.

I finally catch sight of a warship piled high with snow. "That must be the ship Kanna was talking about," I say to myself. I circle down and land softly on the deck. Firebenders are working hard on trying to melt snow, but I don't see Aang, or Appa, or the other two.

One in particular catches my eye, even though I can only see his hair, which is pulled up in a ponytail. Suddenly, as if he can sense me, he stops bending and turns to look at me. He has a burn covering his left eye and his eyes are a golden color, the bright amber of a firebender. I step back, surprised, when he begins running up to me. Once he's upon me, a hand wraps around my throat, and I can no longer breathe.

His touch is warm, like many firebenders, and it hurts. I can't bend; it hurts to just breathe. I try to make words come out but nothing does. "Prince Zuko," someone says behind my dwindling sight. "Prince Zuko, let go!" His voice is stern.

His grip lessens, but it is still there, painful and unrelenting. A man in his sixties walks up behind Zuko. The man has gray hair pulled up into a top knot with a beard that points down and sideburns that point to the side. The man puts a hand on Zuko's arm. "Uncle," he whispers.

"Move," Uncle replies, voice gentle. "You are hurting the poor girl." I can't breathe. Everything is drifting away, as if I am dying. _Oh_, _I am dying, _I think, realization hitting me.

"Uncle, she has the same clothes as the Avatar," he whispers back.

"So it seems, but now is not the time to interrogate her, we must get the ship out first. Put her in a cell below deck."

Slowly, Zuko removes his hand, but my neck feels burnt, and it still hurts to breathe. I fall to the ground, gasping for breath. "I'll take her down," Uncle says, and Zuko returns to melting the snow, a grimace on his face. "Come on, dear," Uncle says, taking my staff from my hand and leading me uneasily down the stairs. Everything is a blur, and I have a dim understanding that I am being held captive, being eased down the stairs into the dark bellows of the ship.


	3. Unexpected News

**Sorry for the deviation to my promise! I got caught up in moving, but now with all the COVID-19 stuff I have a lot of free time. I will be posting the next couple of chapters every day or so, so watch out**

* * *

There's a few moments of silence between us, awkward and uncomfortable. My neck stings with the feeling of the firebender's hand around my neck, but I do my best to push it away and try not to touch it, like I want to. "Your neck, dear, how is it?" Uncle asks. Before we can continue down the corridor, Uncle hands my staff to one of the guards and tells him to take it to Zuko's quarters.

"Stings," I mutter, not quite wanting to reply. Someone has tied my hands behind my back, but, even though I could take this old man on with my hands tied, something deep down is holding me back, keeping me from jumping up and twisting and running, and I don't know why. I don't want to talk much to this person, this Uncle, because I just became a prisoner during a time of peace.

"When we arrive at your room, I will patch it up. I guess it is only right for me to introduce myself. I am Iroh. But most call me Uncle."

"Zia," I say.

"Well, Zia, welcome to your holding cell." Iroh waves his hand forward at a door he just opened. He acts like this is a flourishing place, as if I am being held to the greatest accommodations, but part of me thinks he does this for everything. My cell is a square room, with no windows, a rectangle table placed in the middle, and a mat on the floor. On the red walls are a few Fire Nation banners hanging down. Otherwise, the room is rather dull. There is a bucket in the corner for me to relieve myself. The severity of the situation falls onto my shoulders, and I try to walk straight.

I walk into the room and he follows me in. "Let me treat your burn before it gets too severe." I nod, careful of my tied hands and burned neck. "Some cool water should help with that a bit. I'll also work on making some jasmine tea, if you would like some." I nod again, watching the walls for anything out of the ordinary. But there isn't, just the warm metal of the ship and the sway of it beginning to move. It is hard for me to focus, and I watch the sway of the banners as the ship moves with the waves. I feel like crying out.

Iroh walks out of the room, leaving me alone, and when I start toward the door, he comes back, smiling. In his hands is a bowl of cold water, not freezing. He has a pot of water and some kind of burner that he set up only moments ago, also. The tea pot is red, like the banners hanging from the wall and the cups that he brought in with him. The color of the Fire Nation has always been red, I know, but now it feels like everything in the world is red.

He unties me, coiling the rope and placing it on the table. He turns his back to me, focusing on the bowl of water.

"This may sting a bit," he says. I watch as he dips a cloth in the bowl with water and starts applying it to my neck. I admit it stings a little, but I hold in the groan that almost comes out. "I'm sorry about what my nephew did to you. Though this is not exactly a prison cell, I brought you to one of the nicer rooms. I believe your situation may be misunderstood, to a degree."

"Why did he do it?" My throat is dry and it's hard for me to say anything. I'm afraid that if I ask the burning question inside me that I will cry out, and the lump in my throat signifies this.

"You see, right before you came, the Avatar was captured. He did this stunt and left. Prince Zuko has been searching for him for three years, and he's pretty frustrated normally. Prince Zuko is like a pot left on too long, and he boils over quickly."

"Wait, three years? Aang only just found out he was the Avatar. Who is this Zuko?"

"He's not the greatest known person in the world, but everyone knowing of the Fire Nation has heard him."

"I admit, I don't know much about the Fire Nation."

The old man nods, as if understanding, and asks, "What do you remember being the last major thing in the world?" I think, hard, trying to get a hold of global information. Iroh watches my face and nods again, asking, "The last Fire Lord that you know of, maybe?"

"Ozin? No, Sozin. I don't pay much attention to politics, but I'm sure it was Sozin."

His face falls, as if things are falling into place for him, but I'm still outside, trying to understand something that I won't ever grasp.

"You're an airbender, correct?"

"Yes. I'm originally from the Eastern Air Temple. But I was visiting the Southern Air Temple before I came here. Is something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Zia. I'm truly sorry. But there is no longer a Southern Air Temple or an Eastern Air Temple. All the known airbenders are dead, except for you and Aang," Iroh states, solemnly and continues dabbing some more water around my neck. He reaches for a jar that looks like it has a cream in it, but before he can touch me I jump back, almost tripping over my feet in my haste.

"How is that possible?" I try to yell, but my voice cracks and the teapot begins to wail, whistling greatly in my mind and shocking me, but I can't grasp onto anything solid, except for dead dead dead dead.

Uncle Iroh walks over to the pot, extinguishes the flames, and begins to pour the tea into cups, ignoring my outburst for the short time it takes him to serve the tea. He hands me one of the red cups and sits on the mat, waiting for me to sit down. Understanding that it will take me much longer to sit, Iroh nods.

Iroh takes a long sip before answering. "I doubt you want me to go into all of it; the details are too gruesome even for me. But, I'm afraid, Fire Lord Sozin saw it fit to rid the world of all the Air Nomads, especially the Avatar. I do not know how you survived for so long without knowing, but I am sorry."

"I'm seventeen," I state, though I don't know why I tell him. Iroh nods. "I woke up yesterday in an iceberg, cold and my friend left me. I don't know anything anymore."

"Your body must have been preserved in that iceberg for a hundred years. That's the only thing that makes sense."

"Everybody's dead," I whisper, "except for Aang and me. We are the last of our kind." This is the only thing that makes sense, that it is just Aang and me. I do not think about the death of everyone else, as that hangs too heavily on my heart.

"Yes, you are," Iroh says and takes another sip of tea. Slowly, I sit down and join him again, sipping my tea in silence. It fills me with warmth, it fills the dread and loneliness in my soul. "You are alone now."

I take in his words quietly, taking a sip every now and staring at the ceiling. After about a half hour, Iroh wraps a bandage loosely around my neck. It barely hugs my skin. The engine of the ship roars in my ear and Iroh says, "They must have dug the ship out by now." He stands, walks over to the table, and places the cup before saying, "I am going to be above deck; I'll be back later. Try to sleep."

I hand him my cup before he leaves with his things, leaving me in the cell alone. The door closes behind him, and I'm almost positive that he locked it behind him. I take the man's advice and curl up on the mat. It is rather uncomfortable, but I'm somewhat tired from gliding all day and almost being choked to death. I think of Zuko with his gold eyes seeming to stare straight into my soul.

I still can't believe that I was frozen for a hundred years. It seems like only yesterday that I was playing Airball with the other students, but now I am curled up in a ball, thinking how Aang and I are all alone in this world. I wonder if Aang knows this, if he understands why the Fire Nation captured him. I feel lost and alone, and I wonder if we will ever meet again.

* * *

I'm falling again. Falling through the air and I can't grasp anything. I'm lost and lonely and it feels like my throat is closing up. I'm no longer falling, but pressed against the warship's wall, with Zuko's hand against my throat. Zuko's warm hand is burning my skin while I dangle in the air.

I'm reaching for air, something. Anything, but I can't fight through his grip. I'm losing hold on the real world and black spots float in my vision. It's an airbender's worst nightmare, not being able to grasp on to the one thing you can control. The nightmare is a mix between drowning and being choked, throat on fire, air so close but so far.

I try and yell for Aang, but I'm still unable to breathe. At the last possible second, I wake. I'm cold and covered in my own sweat.

_It was only a dream_, I tell myself, but I can still feel his hand pressed against my skin, taking the very thing that keeps me alive away from me. I try to draw a calming breath, to steady my rapid heartbeat.

I think I screamed at one point because Iroh is now standing in the doorway, asking me what happened. I wave him off, but he stares at my small form, covered in sweat and the bandage I must have clawed off in my sleep piled at the edge of my mat.

Slowly, the elder man walks up to me and reapplies a new bandage and cream. His touch is warm, but not as fierce and unwelcoming as his nephew's. Zuko's is fire hot and hurtful; Iroh's is warm as a hearth's fire and gentle, loving and embracing. Even though they may be related, there is a difference between their touches.

"Why is Zuko searching for Aang?" I whisper, afraid that it is a secret. Iroh hesitates as if he is sharing something too big for me.

"He was banished and received the scar across his face for speaking out in the middle of council. He lost in an Agni Kai against his father. His punishment was to search for the Avatar."

"Why search for Aang? He's just a little boy, right?"

"No, Zia, he is more than a little boy. He is the strongest bender alive. He is the Avatar. He can control all four elements."

I laugh. "That doesn't make sense. I've known Aang since I was little, if he was the Avatar he would have told me. And I've only ever seen him bend air."

"But he didn't. Which means that he must have felt. . . I don't know how to put the words of other people's feelings into sentences. He buried our ship in a pile of snow. He can bend the other elements, Zia."

I stay silent and stare at the steel floor. Iroh stands, tells me goodbye, and leaves, leaving me alone with thoughts that will never leave me alone. All the thoughts of regret and horror for what must have befallen my friends and my teachers.


	4. Southern Air Temple

I jerk awake then, the jostling of movement waking me. But, when I do, I am unable to get away. It seems that it is a Fire Nation guard of some sort. He is wearing red and black armor and a helmet that is shaped like a skull, covering his face. Upon noticing I'm awake, the guard places me on the ground, half dragging me forward. My arms are tied again. He doesn't seem like one of Zuko's guards, but they are all similar in their ways to me.

A tent with a red flag on the top and the Fire Nation symbol on the entrance is our destination, and I panic. Screaming. I start screaming and pulling away. My throat is still dry from the burn, but I don't notice. Being on the boat is one thing, but Iroh told me what happened to the other airbenders. I'm afraid.

Somebody clamps a hand over my mouth to shut me up, and I thrash in his grip, trying to pull my hands out of his. My bending still seems unable to work, but I try to calm myself and work out of his grip and then airbend out of this place. My airbending is failing me; I am failing me.

_This is not good! _I scream inside. The guard pushes me into the tent, where Iroh and Zuko now sit. Iroh seems to shift in his seat, but makes no sound, eyes following as I'm pushed forward. There is a cup of tea in his hand.

The guard throws me on the ground, where I spiral and land in front of Zuko's chair. He seems furious, and I don't know why. "Would you like a cup of tea, Zia?" Iroh asks. I shake my head and rub my neck a little. My voice is scratchy, it seems, from all the screaming and the burn.

"What's going on?" I mumble. Zuko does not look at me, and he hasn't said a word directly to me since I've arrived. Is he mad at me? Or is he just keeping me as bait for Aang?

"It seems that Prince Zuko is in order for an Agni Kai against Commander Zhao."

Zuko doesn't reply, but he grips the edge of his seat so hard steam starts to roll off. He takes a look at me, a scowl across his face, and asks Iroh, "What's her name?"

"Zia. My name is Zia. And you don't have to act like I'm not here," I say, even though the question was not directed at me.

"She's a friend of the Avatar's," Iroh tells him "An airbender. You would know this if you wanted to interrogate her, rather than keep her locked up."

"If you are an airbender, then why don't you airbend out?" Zuko asks, waving off Iroh's comment.

"Because. . ." I can't quite think of an answer, but every time I try to bend, it fails me and I can't tell my kidnappers that. It makes no sense to me, and why should it make sense to anybody else? "Maybe my chi was messed up while I was frozen and-"

"You never finished," Zuko says before standing, ignoring me with the gesture. "The Agni Kai is about to begin, Uncle. Let us be on our way to the arena."

"Yes," Uncle says, finishing his tea and standing up from the chair. We are led out of the tent and to an arena not very far from the shore, me in tow by another guard. Iroh looks at me, as if he wishes to help me in some way. He slows down for a moment to say, "Commander Zhao says if you were a prisoner of ours, you will be a prisoner of his. If we lose this Agni Kai, I imagine he will take you, among other things. But do not fret, I have faith in Prince Zuko."

As I am standing behind Iroh as he prepares Zuko for the fight, the guard holding me tightens my bonds and keeps me in front of him, as if I could take him on my own. The two, Zuko and the person I assume to be Commander Zhao, stand apart with shawls at their feet that fell from their backs when they stood. Zuko stands with his feet apart with one arm close to his chest and the other out in front. On both their arms are red bands that wrap around their upper arms. I wonder what those are for, but do not ask, knowing my guard won't be pleasant to talk to.

Zuko makes the first move, but it is easily dodged by Zhao, as are the next four or so. The last one Zhao takes straight on and extinguishes the flame. Zuko is breathing hard but tries to fire kick Zhao. However, Zhao is calm, aware of everything and dodging and taking Zuko's hits with ease.

Again Zhao puts the flames out and shoots flames down at the ground, blocking any upcoming attacks. Iroh yells from the side, "Basics, Zuko. Break his root!" I have no idea what he's talking about and I try and fight my way out of the guard's grip. This time Zhao takes the offensive and starts to shoot fire at Zuko. I don't want Zuko to lose, because Zhao seems worse than Iroh, and I don't want to be a prisoner of a war I didn't know existed until recently.

Zuko is out of breath and whisking the flames away as quickly as they touch him, but he can't keep it up for long. Iroh looks concerned, but continues to watch Zuko. At the fourth shot, Zuko falls, landing on his back. I move forward involuntarily, scared for Zuko despite what he's done to me. The guard jerks me back, and I struggle to stay upright. Zhao jumps up in the air and lands right next to the fallen Zuko. Flames shoot toward Zuko's head and I stop fighting for a moment, the grip behind tightening. Zuko takes Zhao by surprise and kicks Zhao's feet out from under him, unharmed by Zhao's blast.

Zuko lands on his feet while Zhao is now on the ground. Zhao says something to Zuko, but I cannot hear it from this far away. Zuko's hands are pointed toward the commander's face, ready to give him an identical burn. Revenge is deadly, I remember, a two-headed rat-viper.

Zuko pumps his fist forward, causing fire to erupt and land inches away from Zhao's head. Zuko turns his head after exchanging some words with the defeated, and Zhao stands. I try to yell, but the guard covers my mouth. It really does seem like the plan is to kill Zuko, suddenly.

Flames make their way to Zuko, but his uncle intercepts the blow by grabbing Zhao's foot. Iroh pushes the foot and Zhao across the arena. Zuko begins to run forward but Iroh stops him. Zhao stares at the two in disbelief. The two turn and walk toward me, knocking the guard out and I am free. Free from one jailer to the next. However, I say, "Revenge is a two-head rat-viper. As you watch your enemy go down, you are being poisoned yourself."

Zuko glares at me and shoves me forward, grunting something I can't make out. Zuko asks Iroh, "Did you really mean that?"

"Of course," Iroh replies, taking my bonds in his hands and burning them away. It seems I am a slightly better prisoner with these two than with Zhao. "I told you ginseng tea is my favorite."

Zuko shakes his head, and we walk back to the now repaired ship. Before I am escorted back to my cell, Zuko stops me. "Your neck?" Zuko asks, a concerned look crossing his face, nodding at the bandages wrapped around my neck.

I rub my burn out of habit. "It's healing."

He nods his head and walks away. I think about Zuko's concern as a guard places a hand on my back, leading me down to my cell. Maybe my first impressions of the bender were wrong.


	5. The Warriors of Kyoshi

**Sorry for the delay! This quarantine stuff is punching me with my depression, so I haven't had a lot of focus time. Mostly sleeping. This was previously two chapters, the Warriors of Kyoshi and the Aftermath of Kyoshi Island. But I decided I liked them better as one. I have a lot more changes in mind, and I am hoping to work through them quickly. This will eventually be separated into four books, Alone, Not So Alone Anymore, Alone Again, and I haven't named the fourth one yet! But I will be working on all of them and posting them as separate entities, not as one whole thing as before, unless it is decided upon by the majority of readers to have it as one big thing.**

**Overall, the major changes from the first portion of Alone and this one is I have edited a lot, which I definitely did not do in my youth. And I added bits and took things away. A lot of the time, I felt like Zia was just there as an observer, so I've wanted to make her older and stronger, hopefully, but also more fleshed out as a character. She never really reacted to the death of _all _the people she knew in the beginning, but I changed that. **

* * *

Zuko absentmindedly twirls the young airbender's staff in the air, as if thinking what would happen if he caught it on fire. He is getting bored on his endless search for the Avatar. He is getting bored at not being able to go home. But is that large palace really where the people he loves are? The memories, even now, feel tainted by the harshness of his father, diluted by his mother's absence, singed by his sister's lightning, calmed by his uncle's love.

But Zuko doesn't need any calming; he is already calm. The teenager stands, dropping the staff on the ground and fire forms around his fist. He punches the wall nearest him, filled with rage and hatred. The fire disappears, but the bender's hand stays connected with the wall. He nearly lets out a scream but stifles it. Who is he fooling? He is far from calm as the Avatar is as close to being alone.

_But the Avatar is not alone. He has that girl, that annoying boy, and Zia. He has friends. All I have is this scar_. Zuko's hand immediately goes up to touch his burn, the Agni Kai against his father, Fire Lord Ozai, fresh in his mind.

He rips his hand away from the scar and away from all the painful memories. "Not good to live in the past. Find the Avatar," he whispers to himself, a small mantra that dies quickly. But the firebender's mind flicks to a moment, not too long ago, with Zia, his prisoner, who knows the Avatar, who herself is an Air Nomad, or was.

Zuko lets out an aggressive sigh at the thought of Zia, at all the hope both her and the Avatar can hold. "Maybe some mediation will calm me down," he says again to himself. The candles dim and the four that sit on the table near the edge of his room grow a steady size. Zuko places himself on the bench before the table, the flames flickering with his attention.

Before long, Zuko's breathing starts to grow even and nothing bothers him. There are no thoughts of the Avatar, Uncle, or his father floating around in his mind. And there are no thoughts of Zia. Not one tiny thought of the brown haired airbender who was frozen in an iceberg for 100 years.

_No!_ his mind says. The flames flicker in front of him, but soon they return to normal. A crack forms at the teen's door and someone steps into the room. Zuko senses the aging man, but doesn't move. "The only reason you should be interrupting me is if you have news about the Avatar," Zuko says.

"Well, there is news, Prince Zuko," Iroh tells his nephew, as he looks down at a map in his hands, "but you may not like it. Don't get too upset."

"Uncle, you taught me that keeping a level head is a sign of a great leader. Now whatever you have to say, I'm sure that I can take it." His voice is calm and waiting.

"Okay, then. . . we have no idea where he is."

"WHAT?" Zuko yells, causing the candles to rage with as much fury as the firebender himself.

* * *

I jump awake. Somehow I had fallen asleep, but now I am wide awake from someone yelling above me. I don't know who it is, but I do have a guess. Zuko. As soon as that thought crosses my mind, my stomach growls. I cannot remember the last time I ate while I was on this ship, but it was a long time ago it seems.

But there isn't a way for me to ask for food, and nobody is in the room with me. I turn my body to stare at the ceiling. It is plain, just a metal wall that separates me from him, and everyone else. It is what makes me alone from the rest of the world. Alone and trapped in this cage. I want to scream.

"Alone," I whisper. "Gone. Forgotten. Alone. Lost. All of which I am. All of which will never change. Useless." My hunger grows as I continue to think of all that I do not have. The words keep tripping over in my mind, working their way into a jumbled mess. They form a wall between me and what I once was and what I can become.

After what feels like forever, someone comes to my door. No knock, just Iroh coming to check on me. "Zia?"

That's when I notice my room is dark. The candles must have dwindled into nothing. "Yes?"

"Would you like to come above deck for something to eat?"

I sit and stare at his face. My ears seem to have mistaken his words. Did he just ask if I could eat with them? _Yes, he did!_ my mind yells at me. I nod, then realize he cannot see me. "Yes," I tell him and scramble up from the mat. I follow him up the stairs and above deck. The sudden light blinds me for a moment, but my eyes soon adjust, and I look out onto the ocean, aware of the immensity that is the world and the smallness that is me.

Iroh leads me into the inner ship with barely any interrupting from the ship mates. Iroh's very presence seems to request respect; they only glance at me. The inner corridors are where Zuko and Iroh sleep, along with where they eat. Down the hall we enter Zuko's quarters.

This is the first time I've seen his room. It resembles mine in a way, except this one has a window that is not open, and there is a rather large table in the center. Zuko is already sitting down, waiting for us to arrive. Despite these differences, the walls are most unadorned, save for the Fire Nation banners and the swords on one end. The swords hold my gaze for a long time, as I remember dancing with a pair, graceful and following the movements of the monks, twisting and turning to some ancient ceremony.

Iroh waves to the empty spot in front of his nephew for me to sit. Reluctantly, I sit, while Iroh sits to my right. It is quiet for a while, and warm - the whole room is rather toasty. The thought still makes my neck sting a bit, Zuko's warm hands at my neck, draining the very thing I need away. My eyes don't meet Zuko's, but I can feel his intense glare on my body. I continue to look at the room, or at my hands.

"The Avatar's on Kyoshi Island?" Zuko nearly yells. The candles flare up, and my breathing grows heavy. Will he turn on me again? He stands and says, "Uncle, ready the rhinos. He's not getting away from me this time."

Iroh points to the steaming fish on the table and asks, "Are you going to finish that?"

Zuko snatches the plate up and shouts at Iroh, "I was going to save it for later!"

Iroh crosses his arms and puts on a pouty face, muttering something about how he wanted to eat the fish. I mumble, "I'm a vegetarian."

"Seriously?" Iroh asks, like it's hard to believe that I don't eat meat.

"Yes, the monks taught us that all life is precious, and that you should not end it early, that the earth gave us vegetables and fruit and beans and rice and we do not have the power to end another person's life."

"Well, your monks were very wise people," Iroh says before standing. "I must get the rhinos ready before we depart. I imagine it will be a short while before I return, so you can stay here." With that, I am left in Zuko's room, staring at the cup of tea in front of me,.

While the ship seems to go faster, I sit alone in Zuko's room. No one comes to check on me; no one comes to see if I escaped. If I ever do decide to run for it, I would be lost in the endless hallways of steel. Though I do remember a few areas, like the galley, which I only saw briefly, and the deck, though the directions are just go right and go up respectively. After a while, I decide to take this time to look around the room of the prince, since I never really got the chance to before. I know snooping is bad, but I found it incredibly easy to eavesdrop on the monks at the temples, and it is just as easy to look through Zuko's meager drawers.

I immediately move over to the swords, where I take them gingerly off the wall. They are weighted differently than the ones I used at the temples, but they still feel comfortable, worn, even, like these are Zuko's personal swords. I move one of them to catch the light of the candles across the room, and swing it, getting used to the feel of someone else's blade. They are wonderful, and I am filled with yearning for my lost life and my lost bending. I dance with them for a long time, darting about the room, waltzing with another monk that is a hundred years dead. I move with grace, and tears slide down my face.

Stopping my movements, I place the swords back onto the wall. My body is wracked with sobs, with longing, with the desire to go back in time. All of the emotions I should have felt with Iroh broke the news to me are flowing to the surface. I am like Zuko, suddenly, a kettle left too long to boil, overflowing with suppressed emotions. I am like Zuko, suddenly, scarred and alone. I cry for some time, there, in front of Zuko's dual swords. I wipe my eyes with my sleeve, and go back to my investiagation of the room.

There is some sort of dragon head at the end of his room where four candles sit on a table. The tip of the dragon's head seems to be burnt, probably because he is prone to anger. His bed is unmade and rather messy, like he fell out of bed and decided to go do something, like burn a dragon's head. On the floor by his bed I can see a stick of some sort, peeking out from under the bed, like it was just tossed and then kicked under the bed without a second thought.

I step closer to see what it is and notice that it is no plain stick. It's my airbending staff. Why is it on the ground under Zuko's bed? Zuko probably does not respect the staff for what it is, an extension of the self. I scoff at him and add this to the list of grievances I am starting for him. I lean down to pick it up, but someone comes and bursts into the room. The intruder is soaking wet and angry. He is wearing something similar to the person who took me off the ship the other day. Then I realize that this is no intruder, this is Zuko. And he is furious. And, since he's not an intruder, I technically am.

Before I have time to act, fire is surrounding the prince as he yells to the ceiling. The whole room is burning now and the air feels like it turned to the temperature of a cooking stove. The flames come closer to me and time seems to slow down. I step back toward the bed and cover my face with my hands, but the fire snatches and seems to grab my wrist. Pain jolts down my arm as the fire connects with my skin. I nearly scream out in pain, but it seems that the air is gone from my lungs. The pain is worse than when Zuko choked me.

I'm tripping back on the bed as the fire still comes closer to me. I cannot stop it, no matter how hard I try. It gets closer and closer to me. Zuko is going to burn me alive, much like his lineage killed all the people I cared about. I am going to die here, in the middle of the ocean, alone. And then it stops. Just like that, like a candle out when blown. There is no more fire around me, just me clutching my wrist and tears threatening to fall. I cry out, only aware of the pain.

Zuko looks at me, but I push myself off the bed, no matter how badly my wrist hurts. I just want to leave this room and run. I make my way past Zuko, who is stunned that someone else is in his quarters. He makes a grab for my arm to stop me, but I yell, "No! Stay away from me!" Running, I make it out of his room. The pain in my wrist is blinding, causing tears to fall down. I can't stop them, no matter my willpower. I hear another shout from Zuko, but I don't turn to see if he's following me.

Somewhere on my way through the maze of halls, I come across Iroh. I'm crying heavily by the time I meet up with him, and I'm hiccuping when he asks me what happened. I had bumped into him, and he is holding my shoulders, concerning aflame in his eyes.

"Come, let me take you to my quarters. I'll make you some calming tea and fix up your wrist," Iroh says gently as he puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me down the hall. "It's going to be all right, Zia. Trust me," Iroh keeps telling me.

But it's not going to be all right, everyone I know is dead, and there's no changing that. There is no changing the things that happen, like replacing a fallen leaf back on a newly bare tree. It is like turning back time. There is never such a thing as changing your past. And how can I trust Iroh, when I do not know him? I do not know his personal mission and his guidance for his monster of a nephew. How can I trust anyone after what has happened, after Aang abandoned me?

Iroh leads me into his room. The room seems like the same room as Zuko's, but more calm, just like the difference between their touch. Zuko's is just like a raging fire, and Iroh's gentle as a candle flame. There is a window in here, just like in Zuko's, but this one is open, causing a gentle breeze to flow into the room. The wind ripples my clothes, making me wish that I could soar through the air again and regain my bending. There are a variety of bookshelves around the room, filled with books and tiles and so much more.

Iroh guides me to his bed, where I sit and wait. Iroh leaves and comes back with water, like he did earlier. "Just place your wrist in the water," Iroh instructs.

Timidly, I place my wrist, along with my hand, into the water. I wince a little at the contact with the water, but it soon subsides.

"I am again sorry for my nephew's actions. He is a rather troubled boy. His past is troubled. He has some. . . issues with his family. You see his mother disappeared when he was just a child, his father is the Fire Lord, and his sister always bested him in everything."

"Sister? He has siblings?" I ask after I process everything he says, as if the thought of a sibling shocks every part of me. I don't question why Iroh is sharing this private information, but he seems to trust me. Maybe he understands my hesitation from earlier, that I have no reason to trust _anyone _from the Fire Nation, let alone him and his nephew.

"Yes, Azula. Always the favorite of his father's, but his mother loved him the best."

"I wouldn't know what it's like to have siblings, or parents," I mumble, my eyes falling to the bowl.

"Oh, you were raised by the monks, you never knew your parents," Iroh tells me. "Did I tell you why Zuko was so angry earlier?" I shake my head and he continues, "Well, the Avatar was on Kyoshi Island, like the cook said. Zuko's men attacked the village, setting fires on the houses. The Avatar fled, but he turned around, rode the Unagi and caused him to rain down on the village, putting the fires out, and soaking Zuko.

"Prince Zuko was furious that the Avatar had slipped out of his hands again. He yelled and I could hear him on the warship. He stormed on to the ship and ran to his room. I had forgotten you were in there and Zuko gets so out of control with his anger at times. . ." His voice trails off.

"Fire feeds on anger," I mutter, remembering something one of the monks once told me.

"It does. Very much, but it also thrives on life and energy. The wise dragons taught me that. Sometimes it is difficult to separate them, to know the difference. Prince Zuko has yet to distinguish them."

"Dragons, the masters of firebenders," I whisper.

"Yes, the dragons, the ones that taught us our bending, just like you learned from the flying bison, the earthbenders' from the badgermoles, and the waterbenders' from the moon herself."

Something whistles from behind me. I had forgotten all about the tea that Iroh said he'd make. "Would you like a cup?"

"I'd love some," I tell him. He hands me a cup of tea. The smell of it fills my nose, but I can't quite name the smell, and I don't feel up to asking him. However, the smell eases my soul, calms my breathing, soothes my mind.

I hold the cup in one hand, while my other is still in the bowl. Everything is tender, and I move gently, as if anything else could burn me. "The tea is very good, Iroh." My stomach lets out a growl again, and I remember that I haven't had a thing to eat for a while.

"Would you like a slice of bread? I just got it from the cook so it's warm."

"You don't have to ask me twice," I reply as he hands me the warm, flaky bread. I take a bite of the bread, and my stomach yearns for more. Bite after bite the slice is gone and my stomach still wants more. "May I have another slice?" I feel like crying again from the joy of eating, from the joy of being filled to the brim with food. I miss the monks, that much is certain, and their care into baking.

"Yes," Iroh replies and hands me a piece while he takes one for himself.

Within minutes the bread is completely gone and Iroh is telling me some story about his son. The thought then crosses my mind and my curious self cannot help but ask it. "Where is your son? Is he Zuko's father?" Iroh seems old enough to be someone's grandfather, though the usage of Uncle doesn't quite work.

The old man shifts in his place, but he answers after a moment or two of silence. "My dear son died in war."

"I am sorry."

Iroh stands and tells me, "I am going to talk with Prince Zuko, tell him to be careful when he gets angry, because we don't want a burnt airbender on the ship. Make yourself at home, I will be back in a bit."

I nod and watch as he leaves me alone with an empty plate of bread, a cup of tea, and a wrist in a bowl full of water. This time I am sure he leaves the door unlocked. Am I still a prisoner?


	6. Reminiscing

**Thanks for the comment, Emily! I'm hoping to make Zia more of a strong voice, to have more desires than before, and to do more. I understand that she never really shined before, but I want her to. She has a lot to offer Zuko, more than just her love and kindness. However, the main plot won't change too much! I want to stay honest to Avatar, as I hold a deep love for it. But I want Zia to have an impact!**

* * *

The breeze from the window brushes against my skin, and I vaguely wonder where we are and where we are headed. At the thought of our destination, I am overcome with the wish to bend again, the thought of following Aang, of flying next to him, great in my mind. Maybe I should plot my escape. But something seems to be wrong with my bending, and I haven't spoken to my friend in a long time. I make a note to bring the question of our whereabouts and my bending later. Maybe Iroh could assist me, as no amount of private mediation seems to bring me back to my center.

I take my time alone to glance around the room, my body tired despite not doing anything except lay on the bed. My mind is tired, as all I have done is go over my positions. I am following slowly into a depression.

Nothing seems different in this room from mine, or Zuko's, except that the bed is neatly made and the room is welcoming. It reminds me of my old room back at the temple, but smaller and without a view of the mountains that surrounded the area. I take my hand out of the bowl and place it on the table beside the bed. I lean back and stare at the ceiling, with the pain still shooting up my wrist. I ignore it for now; now is the time to remember the details of my room and the temples that I spent so much time at. I don't want to forget my home or the people that died. All that is left is their memory now, as, no doubt, the temples are destroyed after so long of neglect.

The wind always blew into my room; even if you couldn't hear the wind, you could always feel it. It was soft and gentle against my skin, welcoming after a long game of Airball or training. The window was small, but not small enough that I didn't get too warm in the summer, and not big enough that I froze in the winter.

The walls were stone gray. They had indents in them so you could put your belongings there. Mine held two toys that I received when I was younger, clothes, and a scroll, books and scrolls and letters from countless people. The scrolls had many simple airbending moves inside them, neatly drawn and beautiful, kept for the memory of learning them while younger and not actual usage.

Despite not yet receiving the rank of master, I was part of a delegation to visit the other airbending temples. We stayed for quite some time to learn about the other nomads and their ways of teaching and interacting with the locals. I watched as Aang, a young bender, worked through the motions of bending easily, moving through the tiers quicker than his peers. Aang and I were close, and I enjoyed training with him. He was friendly with all the other monks, and I never felt out of place with them, not when Aang was near. He connected everyone, despite not trying.

Then the time came when he walked into my room with his new airbending tattoos. They were a bright blue, just like the sky, and wrapped all around his body. You only received them when you became a master, and I wasn't that far behind him. But Aang is younger than me, moving gracefully through each other the airbending tiers. After he received his tattoos, and I had returned from a trip to the Eastern Air Temple, the place I normally called home, he was sad. He wouldn't explain why, and I noticed an aversion from the other young monks towards Aang. They claimed him to be an Avatar, but Aang was too young. A master, yes, but even if he was, they didn't inform you until you were sixteen.

Don't get me wrong, I _wanted_ to help him. Every second I saw his happy face be sad, I wanted to run up next to him and suggest we go gliding or fly Appa around. I just couldn't, something told me to leave him be, that it wasn't my problem. But it was! He was my friend, and I had to help him through his problems. I bothered him to the point of exhaustion, but he still didn't open up to me. That bothered me! I felt completely helpless, just like when I was hanging in the air in Zuko's fiery grip. My life slowly slipping away, shrouded by darkness and sadness.

_But my life's not over, _something tells me in the back of my mind. _You get a second chance. You get to live in a different time._

"I'm not very fond of this time," I whisper. "I'd rather go back to flying bison and gliding through the air without a care. Not when everyone I knew is dead." I close my eyes for a moment, just to remember the smell of the fruit pies that filled the air. I can taste their gooey center in my mouth. It feels just like yesterday that I enjoyed one, and now it might be a little while longer until I can taste another. This memory concretes my desire to go back a hundred years to go home.

At the idea of the fruit pies, a thought crosses my mind. Maybe if I meditate I might unblock my chi, regaining my ability to airbend, even if it hasn't worked in the past. I know I've tried it before, but never in a calming environment as Iroh's room, or with the thought of my old friends so close to mind. I move, sitting cross legged, my hands out in front of me with my thumbs touching and pointing to the sky, my three other fingers connecting with their twin, and my pinkies touching and pointing at me. My eyes seem to close by themselves and I try my best to let everything flow from my mind.

My breathing evens out and I wait. Images bug my mind, the images of Aang leaving me alone and the flames wrapping around my wrist. These will not leave my mind, and mediation normally requires a still mind. However, my mind is filled with flames, high and all consuming, Zuko in the center, surrounded by flames. A thought crosses my mind. Zuko wasn't always that mean and aggressive, right? Something must have happened to make him like that.

My mind flips back to Iroh telling me that his mother disappeared and that his father liked his sister more. The monks always loved us equally, never showing more love for a certain person. They loved us equally and shared a bond with us all. Real parents probably weren't like that, but how would I know? I never had any. Another image flickers across my closed eyes. One that sits right next to me that I didn't get a good look at during my initial glance around. It is a photo of Zuko, or at least I think it's Zuko.

I open my eyes and look at the picture. Zuko no longer has a scar on his eye. He has hair along with his top knot. The thing that is most different about him is his face. He's smiling, something I haven't seen. There is a lady next to him. She is taller, but shares similar features with Zuko. There is kindness in both of their eyes; kindness, and love. I suspect her to be his mother or aunt. She has long black hair, the same color as Zuko's, and gold eyes just like him. They seem so much alike. I give up on meditation, as I am intrigued by this completely different person.

They seemed so happy together that I want to know more and as to why she disappeared. And most of all her name. I want to know the name of someone who raised someone like Zuko. I want to know and meet a mother not like the monks. I want to meet her. I want to understand Zuko, despite his harshness. There is good in everyone. That was one of the main beliefs instilled in us. People are naturally born good, and they have goodness inside them. Even people like Zuko and his family.

My fingers trace the edges of the picture, trace the happiness that seems so far away from myself. I want to understand what tainted Zuko and led him on this journey of hardship. I want Zuko to be happy, most of all. And Iroh, because Iroh has done so much for me already. I want them to know kindness and I want to know what has tarnished them.


	7. The King of Omashu

I am falling again, trying to reach out into the night sky to grasp on to anything that could save me from the fall. I am soaking wet and cold. I am flailing about, twisting my body around and trying to bend. _I_ need _to calm down_, I tell myself. It is the only thing that can help, the only thing that can assist me in bending.

"Calm," someone whispers. The voice is familiar, like a gentle breeze brushing my skin, known in my memory but forgotten to the touch. The voice is nice and welcoming and I want more of it. That voice can be nothing but calm. A hand grasps mine, and I vaguely wonder who it is. It fills me with such ease, such calmness.

I cannot tell who it is, seeing as the area around me is pitch black and all I can hear is the wail of the wind and the repeating sound of the person saying, "Calm." The hand pulls me up, and I still cannot see my savior or the place we now sit at. The wind nips at my skin as I hold on to whatever saved me, desperately trying to not fall again, not wanting to feel the ground hit me.

But, despite my wants, the wind is pulling me away again. "What are you trying to tell me?" I ask.

There is no reply, as expected. The person who pulled me out of my fall is drifting farther away from me. "Stop!" I yell, but just like when I tried to yell for Aang, my voice gets caught in the wind.

The sun rises suddenly and the light catches his hair. His hair is a dark color, or is that just the darkness around us? I can't tell, as he is obstructed again by a cloud.

Again, I am falling. The air is pulling me toward something warm. I turn and face the thing below me. It looks like a prison surrounded by boiling water and rocks. It looks like the brain of Zuko, filled with rage and fiery emotions. I'm being pulled into it and the last thought I have before going under again is, _Where am I? _

* * *

I jump awake from the cryptic nightmare. I have no idea what it could mean, except for the fact that I could drown in boiling water. Maybe that's a possibility for my future. Or maybe it means to beware Zuko more than I am currently. My wrist hurts badly still, but it seems my neck no longer hurts. I sneak a peek at the window. It is dark outside, making me wonder how long I slept for.

My eyes wander toward the table. There is a nice plate of eggs and fruit; I can smell them. "Iroh must have left them for me," I whisper to myself and sit down in front of the plate.

My hunger almost overcomes my manners. Even though nobody is here to see me eat, I would still like to be polite. I bow my head slightly, wanting to thank the spirits for what was given to me. I avoid the thoughts of those dead before me.

I bite into an apple, the juice fills my mouth and I want more. My hunger is too great just to hold back on one bite of the fruit. More bites come after and the apple is down to its core. I set the red object back on the table and begin on the eggs. They fill my mouth just as the apple did and soon they are gone from the plate. There sits a slice of bread, a cup of tea, and a towel. I eat the bread in almost one giant bite, aware of my lessening hunger.

I gulp the tea down my dry throat and reach for the towel. It is rough, like a sheet of parchment, but I push that aside and wipe my mouth with it. I sit for a moment, looking at my wrist. It is bandaged and the pain is somewhat less than it was. Iroh must have applied some of the cream to it while I was asleep. I need to thank him soon.

However, I know the room to be unlocked, and I want to escape my bonds, however loose they may be. I stand and walk out the door. The route to the outside is vague and I cannot seem to remember it so I just turn left and right here and then right and straight here. My actions are random, and I hope that I will find a staircase leading upwards soon.

My method seems to work as I appear staring at the night sky. The deck of the newly repaired warship stands before me. I slowly make my way to the end, where a dark shape lurks, staring up at the stars. The stars and air seem to welcome me, as if they've been a longtime friend of mine. I ignore whatever the dark shape is at the edge of the deck, and great the stars. "Good evening," I whisper to them and look at their beauty.

They twinkle at me and that makes me smile. I've missed staring up at the stars, and all my worries wash away. Nothing will bother me for a while. I catch sight of some familiar constellations but cannot remember the name and meaning of them. I can still enjoy the view even if I've forgotten the names and meanings. I sit down on the cold metal, and I let my mind succumb to the flurry of thoughts in my head.

"What happened to my bending?" I whisper aloud. Of course, no one answers and I begin to stare off into the sea, the waves just as enchanting as the stars. The waves crash against the haul of the ship, making a faint noise reach up to my ears. The smell of sea salt glides over my nose just as I would glide over this vast sea if I could. I am lost in the beauty of the natural world, of all that I missed during my imprisonment in both the ice and the boat.

Without any real thing bringing him up, the image of young and content Zuko appears in my thoughts. How did he turn nasty? His mother disappeared, and he was sent to search for someone hidden deep in the watery deeps of the sea for who knows long. All could be possible reasons, but the former leads me to think it is the right one.

I don't know how I can remember the picture of young Zuko standing next to his mother so easily. It's a mystery, just like where my bending went. But their smiling faces are etched into my eyelids, driving me for answers. A smile crosses my face, and I am aware of the happiness of childhood innocence. It is beautiful. "You can't bend?" comes a voice from my right.

I nearly jump into the sea, scared and with hands coming up to defend myself against whoever is there. I do not answer as I stare at the man next to me. At least I think it's a man, seeing as his hair is up in a ponytail, but that is the only thing illuminated by the moon. "Who are you?" I finally ask after a stare down.

Fire erupts from the person's hands, lighting up his face. It's Zuko. The light intensifies his burn and gold eyes. I step back, but he makes a grab for my wrist. I pull away just in time to keep away from his fiery grasp. "Do not touch me!" I say through clenched teeth. "Ever."

He backs away, but says, "You can't bend?" The question brings everything that I used to be able to do into mind, playing Airball with the other students, flying through the air, playfully pushing tiles into the air, and, most of all, riding on my sky bison, Kala.

I start to cry, but I don't back down to Zuko. "It's none of your business."

"What use is an airbender if you can't even bend anymore?" Zuko says, voice harsh and hurtful.

I might never be able to bend again, and that is something that terrifies me. It is the only thing that connected me to Aang, the new Avatar, and those that are now dead. He forgot about me. His friend. I am forgotten by my friend and by the spirits. I am alone.

Zuko seems to realize the harshness of his words and mumbles an apology and embraces me in an awkward hug, despite my desire to keep him away. I do not push away, overcome, instead, by my own selfishness.

Slowly, and unknowingly, I lean into Zuko's chest and continue to cry. Zuko's hand is still on my back and it doesn't seem to move. I don't move, besides the shaking of my body from the crying that continues. My eyes are closed, in an effort to stop the crying. Even when it doesn't work, I keep them closed.

I don't wonder why Zuko was out looking at the sky. I don't wonder why he is comforting me. I don't wonder why my bending is gone. I just cry in the arms of the banished prince, aware, only, of the loneliness that embraces us. I only think about my overwhelming sadness and the darkness around us.


	8. Imprisoned

I wake from my dreamless sleep. It's been a while since I haven't had a dream, or one that didn't involve my falling into the sea with Aang and Appa. It is incredibly soothing to have a restful sleep for once, not bothered by nightmares or the swaying of the ship. I lay awake in the post-dawn, pre-day, of silence in my body and soul. My eyes are closed and I am imagining the constellations as they were last night, so bright and comforting.

I jump up, awake, aware, and remembering what happened last night: the stars, the tears, Zuko, everything. But I don't know how I got back in my cell and on my mat. Even now I'm wrapped in a red blanket that wasn't in here before. I'm no longer cold and it's rather warm and comfortable under this red blanket, but Zuko, or one of the guards, must have noticed how cold my prison cell gets at night on the roaring ocean.

My fingers trace the Fire Nation insignia embroidered on an edge, and I wonder if Zuko bought this for me. Zuko is an incredibly complex person, and I cannot seem to grasp why someone who would choke me upon meeting would want me to then feel welcome. My burns are still tender, a reminder of what Zuko can do, of what his destruction and anger brings.

I sit there, tracing the needlework for a while. My mind is questioning a lot of things, especially in the light of Zuko's kindness. _Is Zuko really a bad person? Or is there something more complex in his history that twists his person to be who he is now? Both evil and kind? Is Aang okay? And will we ever see each other again? Will I ever be able to bend again? _

Amongst all that my brain is already struggling to ask, another question surfaces. _What are my feelings for the people here? Zuko? Iroh? The guards that watch my cell, even? _I have no idea. They are all mixed up, floating in a jumbled mess in my mind. I need to sort them out, or my tumultuous emotions can be the thing having a disastrous effect on my bending.

Zuko's seems to be the easiest to figure out, as he has had the most negative interactions with me. I feel something along the lines of anger, or resentment, towards him, and something else, something I can't name. I know that I am mad towards him, as without him, I would not be in this cell. I could be free if it weren't for Zuko. But he was kind to me, last night, in his own weird way.

Iroh is easy, too. He's been unbelievably nice to me. He's healed my burns that his nephew caused, fed me, let me sleep in his room, talked to me about his dead son, and told me about Zuko's troubled past. If anything, I owe Iroh my life, or, at the very least, my own kindness. Everything he's done for me, I owe him for it. Plus, Iroh always teaches Zuko with unbelievable kindness, despite the anger he gets in return.

Suddenly, I find myself on the floor. The warship has come to a jolting stop, the waves still slapping against the hull. I scramble up, mind only thinking of Aang, Zuko's final goal, and I move toward the door.

Maybe they found him. Maybe I can leave with him and restore my bending. Maybe I can help with whatever he's trying to do. Maybe.

"Zia?" I jump away from the door, realizing it's still dark and trip over something, probably the blanket that pooled on the floor when I fell. I scramble for my footing, but become trapped in the blanket partially.

_Aang doesn't remember you, _comes a voice in the back of my mind, chuckling at my ignorance. Part of me believes it's right. Aang didn't remember that I followed him out in the storm, so why should he remember me as a person, or a fellow airbender. At this point, he's probably figured out that everyone else is dead. How could I, an airbender from the Eastern Air Temple, exist in this terrible world?

"Yes?" I answer.

Iroh's head peaks in my room, silhouetted by the torches set in the walls of the ship. He has a red pot in his hand. "Are you all right? The ship stopped and I heard you yell." He seems to look around the room. "How can you see? It's awfully dark in here."

Fire erupts from his fingertips. The flames float off to the candles that Zuko must have put out last night. I don't want to tell Iroh of Zuko's appearance and our embrace, as it feels too private for this man to know. I untangle myself from the blanket and stand up almost instantly, asking, "What happened? Why did we stop?" I'm not sure if he understood me, because truthfully I'm not sure if I understood what I said myself. My questions come out quickly, and I watch Iroh's face fall briefly.

"We missed the Avatar."

"What?" Aang was within my reach, I knew it. But what happened this time? Was it like what happened on Kyoshi? And Zuko became angry and let out a tidal wave of flames?

"The Avatar and his friends were at a nearby prison rig, the girl-"

"Katara," I interrupt, aware of the names of the two Water Tribe children that went with him. In another life, I imagine, I would have been with them.

"Yes, the girl, Katara, was taken there in search of some earthbender boy that was taken prisoner for bending. There are towns in many areas where the Fire Nation has taken Earth Kingdom towns where bending is forbidden." Iroh shakes his head and looks out at my wall, as if something else is on his mind, but he continues, "The waterbender wanted to save him, as it was her fault that he was captured.

"Somehow, the Avatar and the girl freed the benders and left. Prince Zuko found a necklace. Apparently, it was the girl's. I imagine Prince Zuko has a plan, or is working on one."

"So what now? Zuko obviously is within sight of his goal, what is he going to do now?"

Iroh shrugs. "I am going to enjoy some food. That is my plan." He rubs his stomach and it lets out a growl, awaiting some food that will come soon. "I'm famished!"

I laugh genuinely, something I haven't done in quite some time. I really might get used to living here, with these people, with these strange dreams that mystify me. I _might. _It seems unlikely though, that I will become used to the things around me. The firebending that was once good in my old life is now evil. It's what caused the destruction of my kind, the Air Nomads, and I miss them, badly. Can I forgive a whole element for its destruction of a passive group of people?

"Would you like some tea? Something to eat?" Iroh and I move over to my table, sitting on small red cushions. Almost on cue, a man comes in and brings in a plate of fish, almost like they read Iroh's mind. They bring him a plate, piled high with fish and vegetables. A plate identical to his, red and round, is placed in front of me. It has a small salad, just some green leaves and an egg or two, on top of it. A slice of bread, freshly buttered, is next to it on a little plate like the others.

A small red cup is there as well, filled to the brim with heavenly smelling tea. It's probably something that Iroh likes, so I drink it up without a care. Iroh and I eat in silence, until the same man comes and takes away our plates, leaving a fresh pot of tea for Iroh.

"What was your life back at the air temple like?" Iroh asks calmly, moving my gaze from the spot on the wall to him. He seems actually curious, as this is something that has been dead for a hundred years now, the practices of airbending and their lives. _Our _lives.

"Breezy," I reply, which brings a laugh from the old man. "Actually, it was calm and nice. Nothing like I've encountered since I've awoken from the hundred years sleep that I had. I remember the people there like I saw them yesterday. Calm and without a worry, especially the majority of the monks. I traveled a lot with female monks, mostly, but I knew some of the men at Aang's temple."

I break off and stare at nothing, lost in thought and dread and sadness. The time was so much fun when it happened, and now. . . it won't happen again all because of the Fire Nation. My hands clench into fists underneath the table, and I am filled with anger, unbelievable anger, at everything. At the red banners on my wall, at the red Iroh is clothed in, at the red red red feel of my wrist, painful and filled with Zuko's own anger.

"What is wrong with your bending? Why aren't you able to bend any longer?" Iroh's voice pulls me away from the devastating effects of anger, of revenge, and I take a deep breath, aware, suddenly, of why my bending may be gone.

"I have no idea. I guess when I flew over to this warship my bending was working fine. I mean, I only really used it to fly my glider, which is now under Zuko's bed. Then when I tried to use it when Zuko was choking me, I just couldn't call the air to my command. I felt - feel so useless, not being able to use the thing around me, the thing I've come to love and use. I mean, all the Air Nomads, everyone born into the tribe, is taken and taught to bend. It's something we were known for, I guess. But I get frozen in an iceberg for 100 years and suddenly I can't bend anymore?"

It all flows out like water from a waterfall. I can't stop it even if I tried. I had to tell someone, and now that I have, everything seems . . .different somehow, like I just handed the world to someone else, someone much older and wiser than me. Maybe Iroh can fix my problems, save me from this hell that is my brain, my bending, my anger that fills so easily.

"I see," Iroh says gently. And maybe he does know what's wrong because he's seen much more of the world than me. Maybe this uncle of Zuko's can save my bending.

"You know how to get my bending back?" I ask. I'm startled that I asked such a question because, even though this man is much wiser than me, he is no Air Nomad; he is a firebender. But he did learn from the dragons. He learned control over the harsh element known as fire, and he's not hotheaded as other firebenders I knew, Zuko excluded.

Again, Iroh laughs, but I have no idea why because nothing is funny. "I do not know, Zia. I have not tried to control the element air. I am no Avatar - I can only master fire. But it is possible that my teaching you will show you the element of fire, something I've already mastered. Though you will not be able to bend, learning another element's ways may be helpful, as a lot of my understanding of the world is put on harmony, of all elements working fluidly together. Are you willing?"

I hesitate at his question. I do not know if I can handle something so menacing as fire, even if it's just training. It is not gentle and passive as air. It is rough and aggressive, even if Iroh suggests otherwise.

I reply, "It will take some serious thinking, taking in the thought that I could become impulsive and not think things through, as what I am used to." I pause, choosing my next words carefully. "I do not want to become mean, as the very thing that I am opposite of, but I am willing to look at my options for a while."

Iroh smiles, like that was what he was expecting my answer to be. Maybe he is willing to take on the consequences of teaching an airbender the ways of firebending. "Firebending is not mean, even if a lot of the firebenders you have met recently come off as mean. Zhao, Prince Zuko, at times, the people that killed all of your benders. But we may not all be mean. I am not mean."

Iroh pauses, stands up, and puts a hand out. "I would like to go take a stroll along the deck, would you join me?"

"Thank you,. I smile, but the question he asked me, about me learning firebending, would take longer for me to decide than a stroll along the deck.


	9. Winter Solstice (Spirit World Part 1)

**A global pandemic sure does get the creative thoughts flowing! So I am rapidly editing ahead of posting, and working on a variety of other things! Such as a BNHA fanfic based on a dream I had and some original work! I hope you guys are faring well and I will try to post regularly, if not once a week.**

* * *

Again, Zuko is sitting on his bed, twirling Zia's staff in the air. Last night was such a blur to him, her crying and him letting her lean into him. It was all confusing to him then, and now he still has no idea what to do about it. If he learned anything about war tactics at the palace, then he is doing a poor job of keeping her as prisoner. Uncle was right when he said Zuko never visited her - because he is concerned about whatever he would do when he sees her in her dank cell.

And when Uncle Iroh came in to talk to him about anger and making sure everyone is out of harm's way when he loses it caused him to get even angrier. Flames erupted from his fingers, proving Uncle's point entirely. However, the necklace he found, the one that belonged to the girl that was with the Avatar, gave him the hope he needed to be close to catching him again. Zia holds her own kind of hope for Zuko, whether either of them know is yet to be said.

He is close to his goal, his long goal of almost three years is close enough to reach, close enough for him to feel the air around the Avatar and finally go back to the place he thinks is his home. Zuko suddenly sits up, the staff falling to the ground with a clattering noise. The banished prince stands and opens the once closed window, letting the air calm him for a moment. His eyes close. The cool breeze washes over his face, making Zuko wonder how close the Avatar is to him and what he is up to.

The young firebender walks out of his cool room with a towel over his arm, making way toward the bathroom somewhere deep in the ship's maze of corridors. _Uncle is right about the calming effects of the breeze_, Zuko muses, somewhere close to happy.

* * *

Iroh leads me out of my cell, taking me through the maze of halls that make up the ship. It's warm under the deck, as this is where the engine most likely lies. Or the metal of the ship clings to some semblance of warmth in the frigid ocean.

"I think you would need some open-air every now and then, seeing as you _are_ an airbender. I don't need to lecture you on the calming effects of a nice breeze," Iroh says. I'm not listening, or paying attention to where I am being led. My mind is preoccupied with the question Iroh laid out before me, about whether I should learn from him.

The choice seems. . . seems almost easy to someone else. I should stay an airbender, through and through. However, there's a nagging feeling at the back of my mind that I should try out the other ways, because everything is connected in the world, the earth and the sea, the air and the fire of the world. Everything is connected together in a never ending circle of fire, air, water, earth. We are constantly in a dance with each other.

_How?_ something, or someone, asks in my mind. The voice is different than my own. It's new and talking to me as if it were used to my conflicting mind, or it is my conflicting mind. _How will you learn firebending? You were born to be an airbender, but what makes you think you have the choice of becoming a firebender?_

I think of that question for a moment. Yes, I was born with the way of becoming an airbender, but I lost that way. I lost it somehow, probably being frozen in the iceberg for so long. Or my anger, my infinite anger at the world. My body wasn't made to stay underwater and frozen for a hundred years. I am no Avatar like Aang is. I can't learn all the elements, and I really don't want to; I just want to feel the air under my skin and feel the rush of flying without a care again. I just want to be free again.

I have no sense of direction of what to choose. I am no firebender, earthbender, waterbender, or an airbender any longer. I am just Zia. Plain, old, useless Zia who isn't even listening to what Iroh is saying to me. It takes all of my mind to focus back into Iroh's speech.

"This ship is outdated. Old and most likely given to Prince Zuko as further insult to injury," Iroh says. There is hurt in his eyes, pain and regret at something that I don't know of.

"Why?"

Iroh shrugs and opens a door to the open deck, which feels like a lie. There is more to Zuko's situation than I can currently understand. The sun shines bright in the new morning sky, and there isn't a single cloud in sight. It truly is a beautiful day. "In a little bit, we will be docked, to fuel up and maybe a meal." I nod and move to the edge of the ship. The water is bright blue and reflexive, the waves crash against the haul, making a soothing sound. I can see land to one side of us, and the world is beautiful again.

Just being out here, next to the massive sea, and staring at the endlessness of it all takes away the thoughts of learning firebending and getting rid of my old ways. It makes me feel. . . I don't know how to put it, peaceful? New? Different? Iroh is right about the calming effects of a nice breeze. Something I long forgot. There is so much I've forgotten, and I want to learn. I want to learn the world over.

I stand there, staring at the ocean until the ship finally stops at a tiny port. Iroh and Zuko walk off the ship, leaving me with the choice to follow them, or stay here with a crew of twenty or so Fire Nation people that I don't know.

I decide on the first choice, hoping that it won't get me fried to a crisp by Zuko. Zuko and Iroh are talking as I arrive behind them. They don't seem to notice me, as they keep talking about something. But I walk close to them until Iroh walks off toward a collection of bamboo trees, and he slowly disappears in the trees, leaving me with the banished prince. "Zuko," I say, wanting to make my presence known. The port we docked at is small, and Zuko is just browsing a small shop that smells of fish.

The firebender jumps and nearly burns me again, but then he realizes who I am and steps back, probably surprised by the fact that I followed him and Iroh off the boat without him taking notice. "Oh, it's just you," he mutters.

His golden eyes stare at me, probably wondering how quick I would burn up, or how I followed for so long without making noise. "Yep, just me. Zia," I say, wanting to get his intense glare off my body, as if he is looking for something.

He shakes his head and turns back to look at the shopwares. There is nothing special here, except for maybe some tea ingredients that Zuko looks over. "Where's Iroh going?" I ask, nodding in the direction Iroh disappeared.

The banished prince shrugs like he doesn't care about Iroh and heads off toward a little restaurant with "Zue's Fancy Feast" written across the top. I follow, seeing as there is nowhere else for me to go. And Zuko's silence just seems to be his major personality trait next to brooding. I'm greeted by the smell of cinnamon and something different to my nose when we walk into the restaurant. The place is bustling with more people than you would expect to be here. All of them are dressed like Earth Kingdom natives, which I bet that's where we are.

Green and brown cross my eyes as I look for Zuko's familiar top-knoted head. At first, it's easy to follow, but as we head farther into the place it grows in difficulty. The restaurant seems to go farther back then at first thought. All around me are tables made out of wood and people yelling to be heard over one another.

Eventually, I catch sight of Zuko's scarred face again. He is sitting alone drinking tea. The young teen seems deep in thought and I almost double-back and then notice that I have no sense of direction in this place. I stride over to the seat across from Zuko. Almost as soon as I sit down, a glass of water is placed in front of me. I grasp the cup in my hand and swallow the liquid. It slides down my throat with ease.

I can barely hear myself think, which I have been doing a lot of lately it seems. Zuko appears to not care that I am sitting across from him, or he just hasn't seen me sit down.

"Zuko?" I say to him, taking another drink of my water.

"What?" he replies. He's on edge right now, though I don't know why. Probably the masses of people that are glaring at him and his scar. My red clad presence seems to send a ripple of confusion through the place, but it eases the tension caused by the angry red of Zuko's personality. The warmth of a lady seems to work even among the roughest of places.

"Nothing," I whisper back, though I want to ask him a question, about my staff and about his uncle's offer.

After a while of not talking and just sipping tea in Zue's Fancy Feast, food is given to us, a pile of roasted vegetables and more fish. We eat in silence, and, when we're finished, Zuko stands, places money on the table, and leaves the restaurant with me behind him. "Go back to the ship, I'll be back in a moment," he orders.

I obey, sending a glance back at him as he strides to the spot Iroh disappeared. I find Zuko's ship easily; it being the smallest ship in the port and billowing smoke into the air like a giant pillar leads me straight to it.

I trudge up the metal ramp leading to the deck, not thinking about what Zuko was doing. I lean against the railing overlooking the ocean to the right and stare straight at the waves crashing the side of the boat, losing myself for a few moments in the crashing of the waves, the rhythmic surge of the boat against the sea, and the calmness of my mind for the time being. I breathe in the salt fused air and smile, forgetting my imprisonment.


	10. Don't Ever

Soon after, Zuko joins me and says, "We'll be leaving soon." I look back to see if Iroh came with him, but there is no sight of the old man.

I ask the obvious question. "Where's Iroh?" Zuko walks away without answering, leading me to think that he really doesn't care, and leaving me alone on the deck of the warship. I hope Iroh shows up soon, as he is a beacon of kindness amongst Zuko. I don't go in search of him, as I know that would make Zuko more furious. So I stand and stare and embrace the air and the sun and the water.

An hour or so later, when the sun is high in the sky, warming the top of my head, I head back into the maze of corridors, the way that Zuko was headed. I hope that I am on the right track in the long hallways, but I can't be sure. Everything is a maze inside this ship, and I wish there were signs or a map that could easily lead me towards my destination.

When I think that I am heading in the wrong direction and should turn around and go back to my cell, a great pounding sounds from the door to my right. The sound causes me to jump high in the air, hugging the wall and clenching the metal as best I can. I do not know what caused the sound, but I am wary now, wanting to blend into the warm metal. If I press myself far enough into the wall, maybe whoever is on the other side will not find me.

* * *

Zuko becomes furious again, pounding on the wall next to the door. He is losing the trail of the long lost Avatar and Uncle is bathing in a hot water spring! This is wasting his time and he can't afford to lose anymore. Uncle's sense of urgency, or lack thereof, is starting to eat away at the trail. Even the airbender girl's own lack of urgency towards everything irks him. She was sitting out in the sun today, basking and doing nothing. Wasn't she a prisoner? However Uncle was treating her was not proper prisoner treatment.

That airbender girl would have to do, though. She could pass off as the Avatar, master of all four elements. She only knew one, air, as the real Avatar only knew air, and his father, Fire Lord Ozai, would believe she is the one, believe whatever Zuko's desperate thoughts were trying to grasp onto. But didn't his uncle say something about teaching her the ways of firebending? And didn't she say something the other night about losing her own bending? The first question was distant, hardly remembered from a brief conversation. Plus, she did not have any arrows, no tattoos, no knowledge of what power the Avatar holds. His father would not believe her to be the true Avatar.

_If I see the Avatar soon, I will keep the girl and use her as bait. They were friends when they were young, right? He will come for her and I will have the Avatar in my grasp again!_

The door to my right opens, interrupting the firebender's plans and showing Zia, with her brown hair and her brown eyes and her obliviousness of what the world offers. "What are you doing?" she asks, her voice normal and her brown eyes staring at Zuko's fists pressed into the wall.

* * *

I move into Zuko's room, my bare feet padding against the cold floor. Zuko moves his fist away from the wall, and nearly yells, "What are you doing in here? Shouldn't you be in your cell?"

I let out a laugh, not really joyous, but more mocking. "I haven't been forced to be in my cell for some time now! I don't even have handcuffs!" I wave my hands up in the air, showing my wrists and my burns, the places my tattoos will one day be. Or, would one day be. I do not know if there lives any information on the ceremony and the practices of tattooing. I want them, desperately, but I do not desire them.

Zuko grabs my wrist, his grip tight and his eyes examining my arms. My eyes widen, and I try to pull away from his tight grasp. "Why don't you have any tattoos?"

Before I am able to answer, he turns my body around and lifts up the back of my shirt with both my hands in one of his. "What are you doing?" I shout.

_This is a violation of my privacy! This is-_

My screaming thoughts are interrupted by Zuko's warm finger tracing the line of my spine down my back. I remember the needle and the blue ink entering the master's skin, teeth clenched in pain. I remember the silence of the ceremony hall, as each new master was done with the tattoos to match the sky bison. I remember the desire to work through all the tiers, to be my own master, to have my own tattoos.

Zuko's finger touches the nape of my neck under my hair. "Does the arrow go under the hair?" he asks.

I remember them shaving the women's heads bald for the tattooing. I remember the months after when their hair began to grow back over the blue arrow on their head. I remember watching their arrow disappear underneath their hair. I remember Aang's bald head and how bright blue it shined when we disappeared underneath the water.

"Yes," I muster through the memories, "it does."

Zuko's grip lessens on my hands and my shirt falls back down. I twist my body around to face the scarred prince. "That was a violation of my privacy! Don't ever do that again!" I snap at him, tempted to yell at him some more or something worse, something that shouldn't be in my mind, like slapping him. The thought dies quickly, though. Even my conviction is lacking. I want to cry, because the memories pulled up into my mind, the memories of something I can never have.

"Well, you didn't really protest," he says.

My hand flies up to his face, right where his scar is, but it slows, slows down right by his face. My gentle hand touches the damaged tissue, feeling it, wondering why ever his father would burn him. If Zuko was able to explore my body for tattoos that aren't there, then I can examine the scar.

Before I am able to ask the question, my hand is ripped away from his face and I am pushed against the wall again. Zuko's hand is burning hot and I can't seem to make any noise beside a frightened squeal.

"Don't ever touch my face again!" Zuko nearly yells, his teeth clenched. I'm terrified by the look on his damaged face and my whole body is shaking past control. "Is that understood?"

I feebly nod my head. Zuko lets go of my hand and pushes me out the door. The steel door is slammed shut behind me, the noise vibrating through the hall.

I land on the floor, my face making contact with the ground, sending pain through my body. I make an attempt to sit up, but fail and only succeed in turning my body around. Zuko pushed me so hard out that I can still feel his hand on my back. I stare up at the metal ceiling and wonder if Aang is safe from this teenage boy. If anyone is safe from the wrath of this boy that thinks himself so high.


	11. Spirit World (Part 2)

_I did it again. I pushed her away. I threw her out of my room. I need to control my anger!_

Zuko nearly lets out a yell and his anger through fire, but realizes that the young airbender could still very well be right outside his door. Why does he feel the need to change her impressions of him? Instead he punches the wall farthest from the door and fire sputters out around his fist. His hand drops down to his side, still tingling from the fire that once surrounded his fist. A frown crosses the prince's face for unknown reasons. Something's troubling him, and he doesn't know why. Zuko desperately wants to shout, wants to fight, wants to win _something. _

Thinking of something soothing, anything, the banished firebender sits down on the stone bench, letting the candles around him slowly dwindle and smooth out. His breath evens out as well and his mind blanks. There are no thoughts of anything. No Avatar crosses his mind. No Uncle. No Zia. His mind fills with the soothing thoughts of focusing on his breathing.

Hours pass when Zuko finally stands, getting ready to go fetch his uncle from the spring. It is time to leave the port after spending so much time doing nothing and resume his search for the twelve year old Avatar.

* * *

I scramble up against the wall that faces Zuko's door. The heavy metal door swings open noisily and out steps Prince Zuko. He is dressed in red armor, just like the first time I saw him. The collar is trimmed with gold and the shoulder pads are raised.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"Uh. . . I don't know my way to my cell," I mutter, my face feeling warm in embarrassment. "What are _you_ doing?"

"I am going to see what is holding up Uncle." The prince shoves past me, heading for the long hallway.

I quickly stand up and run to catch up. "I'm coming."

"Why?" he asks without even turning to see if I am following him.

"What if your uncle was taken? What if they will use him as bait to get to you? Don't you think you would need backup?"

"If anything I would take some of my soldiers and not some airbender who is no longer in control of her powers," Zuko spits back. "I'll have one of the soldiers turn you in downstairs. And get you some new clothes. What you're wearing now is in tatters."

"Zuko, that was rude and uncalled for!" I yell, chasing after him and through the maze until we arrive on the deck. "But I am coming with you!" He doesn't comment, just climbs up the stairs with purpose, and makes a noise in the back of his throat.

The sun is halfway towards the horizon, and it leads me to believe I've dozed off without noticing. Before we disembark, Zuko asks a soldier to show me to a laundry storage room, put me in some ill-fitting red, and go back to the deck. Three soldiers follow Zuko and I off the ship, their faces covered with skull masks. We make our way through the bamboo trees that Iroh walked into earlier, and I rub my arms at the eerie feeling the grove gives me.

Zuko trudges ahead, not caring whether we are behind him or not. The prince runs up once we come in sight of a clearing. Prince Zuko runs through the trees and yells, "Uncle, where are you?"

From my position, I can see a formation of rocks that look like a great place to have a bath, as there is a running stream. In the pool of water at the bottom, there are three projectiles that are pointing upward. Not a great place to take a bath. One of the soldiers comes from the side, saying, "Sir, maybe he thought you left him behind."

_Is that true? Would Zuko really leave behind his own uncle?_

"Something's not right here!" Zuko's face is full of concern for his uncle which leads me to doubt that he would, despite the fact of the guard's comment, leave his uncle behind.

"I don't know, maybe it has something to do with that suspicious looking thing in that bath," I say.

Zuko's head turns to the rocks, examining the stone projectiles embedded in it. "That pile of rocks!"

Another soldier suggests, "It looks like there's been a landslide."

"I didn't think landslides went uphill," I ponder.

"They don't. These rocks didn't move naturally. My uncle's been captured by earthbenders!"

"Told you so," I tell Zuko.

Zuko sends me a flash of evil eyes, then orders, "Shut up. I'll mount a komodo-rhino and track the earthbenders down. You four head back to the ship!"

"Nope, I'm going with you," I demand, and the prince doesn't even fight back as I stand with arms crossed in defiance. Zuko sighs in my direction, quietly, and we walk quickly to the ship, where Zuko mounts his komodo-rhino. Part of me is defiant because I want to leave, want to see the world. There is another part of me that is defiant because it may give me a chance to run. Zuko begrudgingly holds his hand out to me and hoists me onto the back of the animal.

* * *

My butt and back are hurting, but I don't dare complain. The sun is just now setting over the horizon. The once blue sky is now in different shades of violet, orange, and red that all blend together to make the color of the sunset. I remember a time when Aang and I sat by the cliffs, staring at the never ending horizon. It seems like it was just yesterday that it happened, but it wasn't; it was over a hundred years since I've been back at the place I call home.

My mind fills with longing, with the sense of desire for something that will no longer happen. I lean farther into Zuko's back at that thought, depressing myself with thoughts about the past. His warmth is comforting, and Zuko doesn't object to my movements. Maybe he believes I'm asleep. Though I am tired from the long trip to find his uncle, I can't fall asleep while on this damned komodo-rhino.

We ride well into the night, me drifting off a few times. The sun emerges from behind us, beating down my neck. I have no idea how long the ride has been, but I'm surprised at how relentless Zuko is to find his uncle. Is he not tired?

My eyes stay on the ground beside us, watching as the komodo-rhino's feet move pebbles and then, "What's that?" I ask, pointing to a sandal lying on the ground.

I lean back on the saddle while Zuko jumps off the rhino, bending down to check the sandal, a look of disgust crossing his face. "Yup, that's Uncle Iroh." He pockets the smelly sandal and mounts again. "We're on the right track," the firebender tells me. I nod and his rhino moves forward, following the worn-out path that was made by many travelers, some which will lead us to Iroh. "Thank you," he says back to me, and I nod.

Every now and then, we catch sight of ostrich footprints, following them. I try to keep conversation with Zuko, talking about Iroh's smelly feet and incredible knowledge, but Zuko is as hard as a rock when it comes to conversation. I take to staring at the trees as we pass them rapidly. There is a decent amount of noise, and behind us I hear a shout of "Yip, yip!" My head snaps back and Zuko jerks on the reins, aware of the crossroads ahead of him.

At once we say, "Aang!" and, "The Avatar!" Zuko pulls the reins in the direction of Aang, but looks down the path we were headed not two seconds before. I begin to pull myself off the mount and run after him, but Zuko grabs my collar, sitting me back down and glaring at me. He shakes his head and turns the rhino back in the right direction. It's as if Zuko is telling me if he cannot have Aang, neither can I.

He gives Appa one last fleeting glance before heading off. I look back, too, wishing Aang would look down at me and remember all the times we spent together, all the fun we shared. I wish he would remember me most of all.

* * *

Zuko believes that we're getting close to the people that took Iroh, as we have had a breakneck speed since the beginning. Suddenly, we both hear, "These dangerous hands must be crushed!" A look of understanding flashes between us. Iroh is close by. Very close. Close enough that we can hear the Earth Kingdom soldiers's talking about him. Zuko was right. His hidden exhaustion makes sense now.

Zuko hands me the reins and jumps off the rhino running. I pull the reins in the direction that the prince ran off, hearing fighting, trying my best to coax the animal towards the noise. It takes me a decent amount of time, as he does not want to listen to me. However, once I reach the pit, I dismount and look down into an earthen pit, where five earthbenders are battling against Iroh and Zuko. Iroh is only wearing a loincloth, and I try my hardest to keep from grinning at the absurdity of the situation.

"Excellent form, Prince Zuko," Iroh says.

"You taught me well."

One of the earthbenders yell, "Surrender yourselves, it's five against two. You're clearly outnumbered."

"Uh," Iroh says, "that's true, but you are clearly outmatched!"

Zuko and Iroh are back to back, fists in front of their bodies, and surrounded by the earthbenders. I feel so useless, standing up here, watching as the earthbenders launch stone after stone at the firebenders. I remember the feeling of Zuko's blades in my hand, and I need to bring this up to him later. Maybe I cannot only learn firebending, but hone my blade skills.

All of the earthbenders's attacks are easily deflected and sent back at them with raging fire. Part of me is aware of the advantages earth has against fire, but, clearly, Iroh and Zuko are masters. Soon, almost all of the earthbenders are down, with only one remaining.

A voice crosses my mind, _You could run. You should run. Run after Aang. He will remember you once he sees your face. Run run run._

I shake the mysterious voice out of my head. I couldn't do that. I will not do that. I can't bend, air or fire. If anything I would die out in the wilderness. I couldn't survive out there.

I look back down at the put. Zuko and Iroh are smiling at each out. The voice is right, in that I can run. They are unaware of me. "Now, will you _please_ put some clothes on!"

Iroh laughs, the two making their way up to me on the rhino, my last chance of would-be escape slipping away. The voice dies in the back of my head, chanting, _Run. You should run. _I look back at the thick line of trees and foliage, of my would-be escape. For awhile, my mind is plagued by my inaction.


	12. Questions and An Answer

**I've officially finished editing the first book! All that means is just posting all the chapters! I actually took a lot out from the ending that I had written for the first one of these. Zia doesn't have tattoos anymore, so there is no capture by Zhao later on. Or sorta. It's a lot different, and I've done a lot of different things with the finale than I had before!**

* * *

The ride back to the warship is just as fun as the ride to find Iroh, but worse. Iroh is wedged in between Zuko and me, with myself being on the end and Zuko leading. I am more than halfway off the seat and falling off. The komodo-rhino is a rather uncomfortable seat, but I didn't pay attention to comfort on the way to the earthen pit, along with my tiredness. And now my mind is rushing on the fact that Aang was so close to my touch, almost near enough for me to hear his joyous laughter, and how the voice urged me to run away from my capturers.

I couldn't do that, not ever, because for one, I have no survival skills. I would die of starvation out in the wild before I even came near Aang and that waterbender. I would lose my mind out there without my bending. There are many other reasons, though I'm unable to grasp them.

My hunger is also great, and my stomach gurgles constantly. It's been well over a day since my last meal, and, though I've cleansed my body before, I want to eat. I push the thoughts away as best as I can, staring instead at the sun. It is about to set again, sending the colors across the sky, reminding me of Appa flying above me, so close for me, yet so far. "I saw Aang," I whisper to no one in particular, "and I couldn't reach him."

Iroh shifts in front of me, beginning to talk. "I saw the Avatar as well. He was in the Spirit World, and riding a dragon."

It takes me a moment to figure out his words, to fully digest that Aang made it into the Spirit World, that he was riding a dragon. "How? How did you see him if he was in the Spirit World?"

"I once took a trip to the Spirit World to see someone..." The tone in his voice makes it clear that he would like to close the subject, but there are many questions in my mind.

I stir in my seat, trying to gain feeling back in my butt, but it is of no use. I will have to stand and stretch for a while to get the feeling back. I let out an almost silent moan. This is quite dreadful and I wonder when we will be back on the ship.

_Great!_ I think. _I'm turning into a whining child on a long trip!_

Zuko stops the rhino, but it's not at the village where his ship is docked. We're at a village that is devastated. Half of the houses are burning. There are large footprints from some beast of the unknown, and rubble surrounds us. Part of me wonders if those are Appa's prints and I've just forgotten the shape of his foot. And then I wonder if they are the prints of a spirit beast because of Aang's entrance to the Spirit World.

A man with a long face walks out of one of the houses that isn't destroyed, interrupting my thoughts. He has a long face and a top knot on his head. Around his body are Earth Kingdom clothes of green and brown.

"Having trouble sleeping?" Zuko asks the man. Suddenly, the prince pushes the man back into the doorway he just came out of. "Seen the Avatar lately?" I try to look away from Zuko's rough interrogations, and grow uncomfortable with my present company. Maybe it is best that I run away.

It does not take Zuko long to get the information. The old man turned out to have seen Aang on his way to Crescent Island, somewhere in the Fire Nation. Zuko learned all this on one simple interrogation plan: Tell us, or die.

Zuko's plan after that, once we get back to the warship, is sailing straight after him, disregarding his father banishing him from the Fire Nation. Nothing Iroh or I say could get him to change his mind on the way back to the ship, and, apparently, Zuko's choice is final.

We ride the way back mostly in silence after Zuko told us we couldn't stop him. And Iroh, still in his underwear, fell asleep leaning against his nephew. So it was just Zuko and I, on the rhino, with a sleeping uncle and an Avatar being chased after. The Avatar, my friend.

No, he's not my friend. Not anymore at least. He forgot about me so there was no sense of friendship between us. None at all anymore.

Suddenly, the komodo-rhino stops in his tracks. I look up, staring straight at the puny warship sitting next to the dock. Zuko and Iroh slide off the rhino, leaving me on the beast alone. Slowly, I slide myself down, hitting the boards with a _thud!_

I look around at the town, the town that was once loud and horrible, but is now quiet and peaceful. Everything feels different at night. This night, where we searched for Zuko's uncle and I saw something different in him, a different side of Zuko, one that cares about the ones he loves, a side that makes him seem less...less evil.

Then I remember him pushing the old man down and forcing him, with the man's life on the line, to tell him where Aang went. And he did, because he feared death more than the death of the world. The truth hits me swiftly and hard. If this teenager got Aang in his grasp, the whole world would die with him. No more Avatar, right? No more master of the four elements. _No more...no more Aang_, my mind thinks.

I nod to no one in particular. Yes, no more Aang. I want to stop Zuko from this treacherous plan, but I am too weak in my current state. I clench my fists and resolve to become stronger, bending or not. I will defend Aang for all that he is worth as a symbol of peace.

I walk with them, my capturers, back to the ship. Zuko commands me to my cell, which I follow because of my exhaustion. My tiredness takes over me as I walk blindly back to my plain cell. My cell with a red blanket that I have no idea how it got there.

Slowly, I open the door leading to my cell. It closes behind me and I slump down onto the mat that is my bed. Unknowingly, I drift into sleep and a recurring nightmare.

* * *

Falling through the sky, the wind whipping around me, slowing my descent just a little. The sea is below me. The cold sea that took me away from my true time. I'm having the nightmare again, something that hasn't come for the past few sleeps. But I am not thinking about me hitting the water, I am on something else.

Maybe I wasn't supposed to live through the one hundred years. Maybe I was supposed to die in the cold around me, succumb to frostbite or hypothermia. Maybe my fate was mixed with Aang's, causing me to live without bending, causing me to learn firebending in place of that. Maybe I joined somehow with Aang and never knew it. Maybe I'm just filling myself up with the false hope of being part of Aang, being near him, being half of the Avatar.

I shake my head as much as I can, my dream self still falling through the sky toward the deep, dark sea below my falling form that's not really there.

Maybe I'm just living in someplace my mind made up and I'm asleep right now. And that maybe this is all a dream, a very realistic dream that I can't wake from myself.

Again, I shake my head. I _am_ giving myself false hope, and it's useless.

Before I am able to talk myself into anything more, my body hits the ground with a bone shattering _splash!_

For a moment, my vision is blurred and my body is freezing against the cold water. I wish I was wrapped around Appa's fur, soft and cuddly. I wish a million things at the moment, but none of them will ever come true, because I am stuck in the cell that my body is trapped in, where Zuko watches me with golden eyes and a scar across his soul.

The water clears and I see Aang, slowly falling into unconsciousness. He is drifting farther and farther away from his sky bison. There is no stopping it because he is going to drown in this freezing cold water.

Blue shoots from his tattoos and eyes, a bright blue indescribable. He grips tightly to Appa's reins, sending air around them. This is what happened to us.

Over time, the water would freeze the sphere, trapping Aang, Appa, and I in there until the Water Tribe children found us. One thought crosses my mind as I wake, _If I was in there any longer than I already was, would I have died? If I was alone, would I have simply frozen to death?_


	13. Freshening Up

I wake slowly, the dream still fresh in my mind, but fading ever so quickly. All the maybe's that I had are slipping from my grasp and only the last question hangs in my mind. The thought of me dying if I was frozen for much longer.

And yet, I still remembered Aang glowing blue, going into the Avatar State, one of the secrets he kept from me. I remember me thinking all of this is a dream, but it's not, because I've been burned and that would've waken me up, right? And that I built myself with the false hope of being part of Aang, which I'm not because I am all myself and none of Aang.

Or at least I think so, because I'm so confused right now that my bending is gone and it won't ever come back and all the other things that are going on around me that make my mind a jumbled mess. I scream out to myself, the area around me quiet once I'm done, for there is no one to hear me.

I stand from my mat, the red blanket I had pulled up on me while asleep falling from my body. My stomach lets out a rumble, reminding me to eat. A plate, piled with salad and eggs, sits on the table, with a note next to it. I glance at the food and I think that Iroh doesn't know what to make out of me not eating meat, and not knowing how to fully portion out a healthy meal.

I walk over to the table, curious about the note, but more hungry than curious. I pick up a utensil with my right hand and begin to eat. My stomach slowly settles as the food enters me. All too soon, my food is gone and I reach for the cup that sits next to the plate. It is almost filled to the top, I notice. Quickly, I gulp the water down, the cool liquid flowing down my throat and settling along with the salad and eggs.

For a moment, I forget all about the note, as I stand to leave my cell, forgetting that maybe, there could be a guard at my door and my door could be locked. But I doubt that because there hasn't been a guard at my door since they discovered my bending was gone and the same with the door being locked. With my interaction with Zuko recently, he knows of the lackluster control I've been under. I'm basically a member of the crew, except I don't do any work and the crew ignores me greatly.

As I reach the door, I remember the note that sat by my plate. I pick up the parchment, the ends somewhat jagged. It's folded in threes, so I fold each end over gently because I haven't held paper since my trip down under the ocean. The handwriting is slanted, but neat.

You need a bath. Head right and then left down the hall.

Towels are in the bathing room. There are new clothes in there, as well.

Don't get lost or the guards might think you an intruder.

That's it. No signature. Just 'You need a bath,' as in I smell to whoever wrote the note. Which a small list of people come to mind. And I have an idea as to what the guards will do if they see me; they won't do anything. I have no defining marks, and my clothes are the same as theirs, mostly. The only thing different from them and me is my eyes.

I sigh, placing the note back on the table and standing. I open the door, knowing it not to be locked and knowing there is no guard on the other side. The note is correct, because as I'm taking a left there is a door closed with steam slipping through the bottom. A soft glow slides out as well. No noise of guards taking a bath, chatting, or doing their job.

I walk up to the door, being a tab bit self-conscious of my scent. My hand reaches for the knob, which I turn and the heat of the bath hits me in the face. It soothes me, the heat. It reminds me of the temple, where I sat in the springs and just swirled the water around with my fingertip.

I open the door fully, seeing that the bath is simple. A tub, covered in red tiles, sits in the corner. A rack, next to that, is where the towels sit, waiting with its black Fire Nation insignia on a sea of red. I close the door behind me, lock it, and stare at the steaming bath in front of me.

Who put the water in the tub? I ask myself. But, of course, no one answers.

I undress, now self-conscious of someone walking in, even though the door is locked. My feet make their own way to the edge of the bath and step in one at a time, slowly adjusting to the warm water.

At first, the water reminds me of Zuko's fire on my skin because I haven't felt the warmth of water in over a hundred years, but it settles into something gentle, something loving that covers me and soothes me. I close my eyes, letting the water flow around me in the red tiled bath. The steam tickles my nose ever so gently. I let out a smile. I'm starting to like it here, with the salad that someone gives me and knows that I don't eat meat, the generosity that Iroh showed me, and, somehow, the weirdness that surrounds Zuko's mother.

I sink deeper into the water. It reaches my chin now. Here, I feel different, safer, and carefree. For the moment, as I am submerged in this element, I forget all about Aang being the Avatar, Zuko, his burn, and his relentless search for Aang. I forget the coldness of being frozen, and the years that I lost in the iceberg. I pretend, even just for a moment, that I'm back home, at the Air Temple, bathing.

But once I step out of this bathtub, my feet will hit the cold, metal floor that will send shivers throughout my cold, wet body and I will wrap myself in the colors of my captures. I will remember all that's happened in the past one hundred years. And I will remember Aang is gone from me, with the secrets he never told me.

And yet, somehow, I don't think it so terrible, remembering all these things, because they've led me to where I am, to finding new people, to learning new secrets, to learning a new element soon even. Maybe all is not so bad here, with these people around me.

A smile works its way on to my pink lips as I fully submerge my body in the water. My brown hair works its way into my face, covering my soul and eyes that I share with so many departed people. And still, the smile doesn't fade until I step on the cold surface that is below me.


	14. Avatar Roku

Making my way back to my room with wet hair and feet padding against the steel floor, I wonder what time of day it is. There's not a lot of light down in my area. Instead of going back to my room, I turn around, dropping my towel that I carried out of the bathroom, and begin to run.

My hair trails behind me as I pick up speed. I have no idea why I am running, but it seems the faster I get up to the deck, the better. _What lies ahead of me?_

I turn left and right and keep going straight at times, but I don't know where I'll end up. Finally, I come up to the stairs that lead up. I take two at a time, not wasting a second. Once my eyes adjust to the bright sun, I spot a white figure in the sky. He has grayish arrows around his body, and I realize who it is.

"Aang!" I yell. I'm not sure if he heard me, but I believe that he did, and, that somewhere, deep down, he still remembers me.

I hear Zuko yell in front of me, pulling my attention away from the flying bison. "A blockade!"

A horrible smell wafts up my nose, the smell of burning rock with tar on it. Up ahead are ships going one way and then more going another. It is going to be nearly impossible to cross.

I run up to Iroh and Zuko standing at the end of the foredeck. They're staring up ahead at both the blockade and Appa. Zuko glares at me briefly before returning his eyes skyward. "Technically, you are still in Earth Kingdom waters. Turn back now and they cannot arrest you," Iroh suggests.

Zuko's eyes are still locked on Appa. "He's not turning around," he says

"Please, Prince Zuko, if the Fire Nation captures you, there is nothing I can do. Do not follow the Avatar."

Zuko bows his head and whispers, "I'm sorry, Uncle." Then, he turns to his helmsman. Pointing forward at the blockade, he yells, "Run the blockade!"

A giant, smelling fire ball hurls toward us, but misses and hits the water, sending waves that rock the ship. Another wave hits close, sending water on to the ship. Suddenly, I hear a _boom_, and I know that we've been hit.

"Prince Zuko," somebody calls.

Zuko turns away from the water, seeing that the engine master is running up to him. The man is covered in grease from working on the now damaged engine. "Prince Zuko, the engines are damaged! We need to stop and make repairs!"

"Do not stop this ship," Zuko yells. The air is hot, heavy, tension thick and palpable. More rocks fly and hit the water. The other ships that are part of the blockade seem to be aiming for Appa, and if they miss, their rocks can still hit us.

"We are on a collision course!" Iroh states.

"We can make it!" Zuko says at the same time, which I doubt we will. I can barely breathe, and I had just ran up the stairs, and this is me getting the answers I had asked a while ago. This is me finding another side of Zuko, and I see the lengths he is willing to go against the Avatar. What lights the rage inside the prince? What makes him put that above the lives of everyone on this ship?

But, despite Iroh and my thoughts, we slide easily through the much bigger warships. I look on to one of the ships. There, staring at us, is Zhao, the man who fought against Zuko so long ago. I catch a glimpse of Zuko's face, catch a small piece of determination, determination that he will finally get Aang back in his grasp. It is nearly identical to the look on Zhao's face.

Iroh strokes his beard, seemingly deep in thought as he stares back at the fading blockade. "Why didn't Zhao run you through with his ship?" I ask, finally finding my voice.

I look back as if to see Zhao following us, but all I see is dark smoke billowing up into the sky. We really should stop and repair the ship before someone follows us after Aang. Because the engine master is right. We took a decent amount of fire.

Zuko is grasping the bar ahead of him, still staring at the spot on the horizon where Appa was flying. "Because he wants to follow Zuko. He knows he'll lead him straight to the Avatar, the prize they both want," Iroh replies.

"If Zhao wants to follow our trail of smoke, then that's exactly what I'll let him do," Zuko replies.

"I don't like the sound of that," I mutter.

* * *

We are at the back of the ship now, with smoke still going up into the sky. The back hatch opens, revealing the blue sea below us. A smaller ship is being lowered into the water.

"Uncle, keep heading north. Zhao will follow the smoke while I use it as a cover," Zuko says.

Iroh grunts, strokes his beard again, and says, "Hmm," as if deep in thought. His eyes are distant.

"I want to go," I say to him, wanting to join up with Aang, wanting to run again.

"No," Iroh and Zuko say at the same time.

"I can fight," I protest, remembering moves that follow along with airbending, the basics.

"I do not care. You are my prisoner and therefore should stay on the ship," the prince tells me.

I open my mouth to reply, but Zuko leaves us and walks into the vessel. The ship hits the water and disappears into the smoke, cutting off any and all replies.

"Hopefully, my nephew's plan works. Meanwhile, I will begin your firebending lessons," Iroh tells me once we've gone a long way with silence. "Come, we will practice on the main deck while they work on repairs."

There is one good positive thing from Zuko's rudeness, at least. My stomach flutters, revealing to me that I am nervous. It reminds me of my first airbending lesson. I was a baby when I was given to the monks and I followed what they did until I was six, when I received my very own sky bison.

_Kala_, I think. I almost jump up and scream her name. My flying bison, now gone forever. I should have taken her with me that night. I have no idea what happened to her, and I think if I know, I will break down into tears.

"Now, Zia, breath is everything in firebending. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. It is the same with airbending, I imagine," Iroh tells me and I do as he says. Inhale through the nose, exhale out the mouth, in, out. "While doing this, you should feel the sun on your back, feel the heat that it gives you. Think about the role of heat, of the sun, in everyday life. Without it, we will freeze. I will be sitting here, with my tiles, and I will watch and guide you."

I do this for what feels like hours, but I don't move and I don't think. I just breathe with my eyes closed. In, out. All my worries seem to float out of me with the air.

When I open my eyes at Iroh's command, I see soldiers around me, staring at me learning their element. But none of them make eye contact, for they have the skull masks over their faces, preventing me from staring into their eyes.

"For every form of bending, Zia, there must be a drive to bend. A want. You must find that drive," Iroh tells me, so far off he seems. "Continue breathing, though. Do not lose your concentration. I imagine it is easier to have some predisposition to the element, as the basics are already part of you. But we will start at the beginning."

_Drive?_ I think. _I need to find a drive._

The search for a drive begins, as I stand there, waiting for Zuko to return with Aang. Waiting for the heat to build inside me and come out my hands. I wait, and I think about the hot sun, and the hot metal, and the hot eyes of the soldiers.

Sleep doesn't come to me immediately that night. I am up thinking about my drive, and what I want to achieve with this new found bending. Or maybe it's because Zuko didn't come back yet. I'm split between the hours staring out at sea, staring at the emptiness, or the worry that built in my heart when I thought Zuko might not return.

I stare at the ceiling for hours on end, thinking. Kala comes to my mind more than once. I remember the last time I saw her. Quite the ordinary day I thought it would be, not a cloud in sight, perfect weather for soaring through the sky.

I ate breakfast with the rest of the monks, a simple meal of root vegetables and couscous. Then decided after eating that I should take Kala for a ride. No saddle, just her reins, me, and the open sky. After having been in the air for over a hour, I started to smell the beginning of a storm. Lightning was hot in the air. Quickly, so we didn't get caught in the storm, I rushed back to the temple. Not a second after I returned, rain began pouring down.

I urged us inside, not wanting to get sick. No one was in sight, most likely all in their rooms away from the rain. I followed their example, greeting a few people that I saw along the way.

As I headed up the stairs, I began to wonder what Aang was up to today. I wondered what he did instead of flying around with Kala and me. I knew, because a few of the council members asked me to keep an eye on him, that Aang was secluding himself, pulling away from the rest of everyone.

I closed my door behind me as I entered my room, all quiet and cold from the wind blowing in. I laid down on my bed, looking up at the ceiling as I do so often here. Slowly, I drifted off into sleep. No dream came to me, but I woke up to a clap of thunder.

Scrambling up to look out the window, I caught sight of a flash of red, orange, and a small head with a blue tattoo. Aang's room wasn't far away from mine, and it was late, and his actions were abnormal. Not thinking of what happened next, I snatched up my staff from its position next to my bed and jumped out the window in pursuit of my friend. Very suddenly, it hits me, like a rock being thrown in water. "Aang," I whisper. "I want to reunite with Aang again."

There is no doubt about it, for I have thought about seeing Aang and him remembering me since I woke up from the iceberg and he didn't realize I was with him. It's somehow like Zuko's goal to capture Aang, but different, as I want to reunite with an old friend and not capture him to regain my honor, if I even have honor.

I scramble up quickly. _I've found my drive!_ I scream inside, for it didn't take me that long to discover it. All along I've wanted to meet up with him again. To tell him that he's not alone, that he's not the last airbender, to hug my friend that I haven't hugged in over a hundred years.

But what will he think of my lost bending? What will he think of me becoming a firebender? What will he say to me once he remembers all of the times we've shared? Slowly, I lay my head back on the mat, thoughts swarming through my head. However, placing my desire to find Aang as my drive feels insubstantial. He is only a person, and, as the Avatar, he holds a lot of people's hopes. Who am I to place more problems on the shoulders of such a boy? It is not his duty to find me. I need to find another drive, something that is not Aang, something that does not compare to Zuko's drive.

* * *

I wake from a dream that fades from my memory. One that involved me falling through the sky and splashes. Lots and lots of splashes of water hitting me. And then fire, licking my skin, but not burning my body.

A knock at my door brings me out of my bed and up to the metal door in front of me. Slowly, I open it and see Iroh in front of me. "You've slept well?" he asks.

Between my thoughts of Kala and the past and the dream that's fading from my memory, I guess I did. I nod in response. "Let's continue your training, then."

I follow him, all the while patting down my hair and combing through it with my fingers, stopping once Iroh glances at my failed attempts to comb my hair. He smiles, full of warmth and care. We emerge from the dark corridors and onto the front deck shortly after.

The sun hasn't risen yet, but there is a peck of yellow and orange on the horizon. I rub my eyes at the lack of sleep and the early time of day that I woke up at, but I don't complain. I'm not hungry either, for I ate a big meal the night before. My stomach seems to be doing turns, however. Butterflies flutter inside me, and I can't calm them down.

"Don't be nervous, Zia," Iroh tells me, "for fire is nothing to be afraid of. It is like a living person, warm and alive." The firebender cups his hands and fire forms around it. It's small and not very warm, fluttering in the breeze.

"But if you let it grow too large, the flames will consume you." The flame gets larger as he talks, growing up to his face. I can feel the heat from it now. "And if it gets too small, it will sputter and die out." The flame gets smaller as he talks, the flame no bigger than my finger. It tries to stay alive, but its flame won't grow bigger, so it disappears into smoke.

"Do you understand?" Iroh asks. I stare at the space in his hand where the flame disappeared and nod. "We're going to be moving a little faster today, but I want you to try. Keep the flame a good size, but if it gets too small or big, it will die out. So keep the fire a subtle size. Sit now, Zia."

Iroh creates another ball of fire as I sit down. "Keep the fire alive for as long as you can." The elder firebender passes me the flame.

The fire is warm against my palms, and it feels like my own heartbeat, slow and steady. I almost drop the ball in surprise because I do feel the heartbeat and it's moving in my hand, but not growing. "What do you feel?" Iroh asks me.

"It...it feels like it's alive, a living heartbeat. Really, it could be a person if it felt like it could be, I think. It keeps moving in my palm. It's also warm against my palm and it's not growing," I whisper almost to myself and not to my teacher.

Iroh nods to me and tells me, "Keep it alive for as long as possible, don't let anyone make you lose concentration. Try and keep a clear head as well."

I close my eyes as he tells me that, and when I open them again Iroh is gone. "Wait, what happens if it gets too big!" I yell to the air.

The flame is getting smaller as I yell at the person no longer there, so I stop talking and stare back at it, making it grow back to a steady size and heat. I cross my legs, close my eyes, and let out a sigh. It seems almost peaceful here, with the floor shifting below me, and the breeze of the sea in my nose. But I know that it won't stay this way forever, as nothing ever stays the same for long.

Soon enough, Zuko will storm out here with his raging touch and his scarred golden eye. And following him will be the calm form of his uncle, trying to settle him down before he sets off in another outrage as Aang slipped through his fingers once again. And following Iroh will be soldiers with the skull masks, standing tall and waiting for a command.

And in the middle of the front deck will be me, with my hand holding a steady flame that's not moving in the wind that is coming with the rising sun. My hair will move around with the wind, showing off my true nature and the fear amongst me.

Everything, except the place where hope lies, my heart, is almost empty. All except the hope that I will see Aang again. The hope that I will regain my bending and see the monks again has disappeared. All of them, dead. Kala, dead. Gyatso, dead. All the monks I once knew, dead. But Aang and Appa are still alive, and that will keep me going forward. It will keep me sane in this different world.

I open my eyes and stare at the flame, small in this world, but big in my tiny hands. I like the feel of it writhing in my hand, almost unnoticeable to someone crossing my path. I like the warmth it gives me, almost like it is feeding me strength to live on. Almost like hope is being filled into my heart, the very hope that is almost gone.

And I like it all; all of the things this little fire is feeding into me. All the hope that I've lost in the long time I was in the iceberg.

But this flame will only last as long as I can, meaning that I can't depend on the small flame that will disappear in an instant. I need to find something inside myself that I can depend on, something big, more significant than a tiny flame. I need to believe in myself. I cannot use Aang as a drive, because he is not me. We are not together, no matter how much I think some part of Aang is within myself after the iceberg, after a hundred year.

I have to be my own drive. My own desire to be better, to have some sort of hope in myself, is my drive. To live, to find something to live for, is my drive.


	15. The Waterbending Scroll

I do the exercises that Iroh tells me to do for days, and I don't complain about waking early, or the nightmares that haunt me every so often. I just do as he tells me, remembering the times I played with the air around me and pushing it to my will. Jumping, I remember jumping for the first time with my staff, and then flying - no, soaring through the air with it. And smiling, the wind pressed against my face. I hope Iroh's training will bring me some of that joy back.

A couple of Iroh's training exercises are holding the flame in my palm, maybe trying to walk around with it and not let it burn out; forget about it and pretend I am just walking around with my hands before me. I do as he tells me, for I have nothing else to do on the boring ship of Zuko's.

On one of the occasions where I sit on the deck, holding the flame with my eyes opened, focusing on making the flame smaller and bigger with my will like I was instructed, I see a flick of a scarred person in the corner of my eye, but I don't register it as Zuko. I never did see him come back after our encounter with the blockade, nor have I heard about his inevitable failure with Aang. I wonder, of course, but do not pry.

Hours of me sitting there, on the moving floor, I hear Zuko and someone else sparring, but I concentrate on the flame before me, opening my eyes every so often to check if the flame is still there because I've become accustomed to the feel and heat of the fire that I have not made, but been given to by Iroh like usual. Vaguely, I wonder when I will begin creating my own fire and bending it into shapes of my own mind, if I even can.

I don't know what else to do besides hold my flame in my palm. So I just sit there, holding the flame in my palms, with my eyes closed. I hear Zuko throw punches and flames at his opponent, and not once do I hear him near me and my flame. It seems that Zuko is working on restraint, on keeping away from me with his deadly moves.

Before I am able to open my eyes and look at them fighting, the outdated ship lurches to the right and I am sent toppling over myself into the side of the warship. For a second, I feel like I'm falling through the air and into the sea.

When I open my eyes, I do see the sea. Below me, crashing into the haul, are the dangerous waves that could crush me. Then I notice someone's hand on my back and holding my arm. Zuko's hand, I realize.

"Someone's changing our course!" Zuko hollers as he tugs me up and back on to the deck. Safe ground that still moves with the waves, but is safe. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in, barely notice the missing hand on my arm and back as I sit back on my knees, hardly moving.

Zuko leaves me and his sparring partner alone on the deck. "That boy, all caught up in finding the Avatar," the man mutters.

I turn to look at the man. He has gray hair and sideburns that almost reach his square chin. He has brown eyes that have possibly lost some of their glow that they might have had when he was younger. He is much taller than me and can't be older than Iroh.

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"I mean that Zuko is oblivious to things, and people, that aren't the Avatar," the man says before standing and following Zuko to wherever he was headed.

I let the words of Zuko's sparring partner sink in, but I'm still not seeing the big picture of it. I mean, I do know that Zuko is oblivious to things that aren't Aang, but I don't know how that has to do with me. I am just an airbender who can no longer bend her element, right?

I am now alone on the deck, staring at the empty space in my hands where a warm flame once was. For some reason, I miss its warmth and the strength it gave me. But I realize that I shouldn't depend on something so...so small and vulnerable; I should depend on something bigger, something that can defend themselves. I should depend on myself.

Iroh comes padding over to me as I stay seated, staring at my fingers, my cold fingers that miss the warmth.

I look up at Iroh and ask him, "Who changed our course?"

"I did," he replies simply, helping me up from the floor.

"Why?"

"I seem to have lost my lotus tile, for my Pai Sho game," he says, leading me back into the ship.

After a while of silence, I ask, "How do you play this Pai Sho game?"

Iroh's face breaks into a smile. "I'll show you. But when we get to port, we will look for a new lotus tile."

* * *

It takes me a while to get used to the way the game is played, even though I mess up at times, I get the gist of it. I remember Aang talking about the game once or twice before, but I never asked about it then. I played a variety of different games at the temple's, but I knew Pai Sho existed. I preferred to be out and about, becoming absorbed in other people's words and listening to their stories.

The game is played on a circular board, divided into twelve sections. I only receive ten tiles to begin with to move around the board, each of them with a different image hand-painted on the small, black circle.

Eventually, I forget how many times Iroh has beat me in the game in the room when the helmsman turns the wheel toward wherever Iroh thinks his tile is. I forget which tile is mine and when I am supposed to draw another. And, after about an hour or so of the game, I give up completely.

Iroh is laughing at me, as are some of the crew members who played the game against the elder firebender and lost as well. The people on this ship seem nice, well most of them, and it gets me wondering where Zuko came upon such a pleasant crew to work with in his search for the Avatar.

"I remember Aang talking about that game," I tell Iroh on our way off the deck.

"Really?"

I nod. "I wasn't a big fan of board games like he was. I shared a different interest in things sometimes, like books. I really enjoyed reading the books in the libraries whenever I got a chance."

"I enjoy reading as well. My nephew, not so much, as he is busy with plotting courses and everything."

"Zuko's sparring partner told me that he was oblivious to things, and people, that aren't the Avatar. Do you believe that is true?" I ask him when we arrive at the port.

"He wants his honor back. That is Zuko's drive. It is quite obvious to some," Iroh whispers. "You will have the rest of the day off. But we will browse all the goods here!" He waves his arms around, and starts towards a stall.

Zuko glares at me and says, "Don't stray." His eyes do not stray from me, and I understand that he will not be leaving my side this entire time.

"I don't have any money, so I can't buy anything," I say.

"I know. If there is something that you need, I'll think about purchasing it. Like, womanly things." Zuko blushes and looks away, waving forward.

"Oh, thank you." I begin moving towards the stalls, and they are thick with customers and different smells. I rub my arms, as I am still nervous around big crowds. I stop walking, and Zuko bumps into me, grunting.

"Why did you stop? You're in Fire Nation clothes. No one will recognize you here," Zuko says. "Is there anything you want?"

"I, umm, I don't like it here. I haven't been off the ship for sometime, and I - I think I want to go back."

Zuko gives me a sideways glance. "There is _nothing _you want?"

"Maybe something to read. Or some swords like the ones in your room. I want to work on defending myself, not being useless." I look down at my hands, aware of Zuko's coming anger.

"Why were you in my room? Did you touch my swords?"

"Can I just go back to the ship, please? We can discuss this later. I just feel as if I am going to be - I just don't feel safe." Zuko sighs and grabs my arm roughly, leading me away from the crowds. He grumbles something before leaving me alone, but I do not question him. I watch as he disappears back into the crowds that made me feel like there were eyes on me.


	16. Fire and Pain

**Hey, sorry for the long wait. My depression said NO WRITING but I'm back. Hope you guys enjoy.**

* * *

A knock on my door, soft and smooth, not pounding on it for dear life. Slowly, I sit up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "Come in," I say. Iroh comes in with a teapot and two cups in his arms. He brought me some of his delicious tea that I love. Iroh settles down at my table and smiles, pouring me tea and waiting calmly to speak.

"We saw your friend yesterday," Iroh says.

"Aang?" I ask, even though I already know the answer.

He nods, and after a long sip of his tea, he tells me the story. "In search of a new lotus tile - the old one was in my sleeve all along! - we found pirates. Zuko told me you did not feel well, and that you wanted to go back to the ship. If you had stayed, I imagined you would have enjoyed it! Magnificent things they had on their ship. Zuko overheard them talking about the Avatar, and the search began.

"Zuko had the Avatar within his grasp again, but he slipped away from him. Along with his vessel. Right over a waterfall. Zuko is always betrayed by something deep within himself. Or that's what I think."

"A waterfall? His boat fell down a waterfall?" I explode with laughter at that last bit of information. Zuko just wasn't having a good day yesterday, by the sound of things. I pause, thinking about something. "Iroh, why do you share this with me? I am trapped here, and it is not good to long for things so far away."

Iroh is pensive, stroking his beard, deep in thought. "I do not want you to feel like a prisoner, even if that is what you are. You are trapped here, but you have nowhere to truly go. If ever you were to show interest in leaving, I would grant you the ability to stay. Prince Zuko believes you may be helpful with the Avatar, but he has done nothing to get information out of you, or use you to his advantage. Truly, Zuko is lost in thought as to your presence here.

"Now, let us get started today on your bending."

I stand, my stomach fluttering again at the thought of holding the warm flame in my hand and the flame of my own from a dream. My mind is tripping over the thought that I could leave. I want to, but I don't know where. Could I stay with them forever? They are not truly keeping me as a prisoner, and there are a lot of things I could learn from them all.

"Iroh," I say, as we keep moving, "I just wanted to know if the path that I'm working with is the right one." My body is swelling with hope, with love for the outside world. I am an airbender, at least, part of my soul is. Could the path I'm on be the right one?

But there is more I want to tell him; I want to tell him that there were thoughts of air and fire and their link to my place in the world. But I keep my mouth shut and walk to the deck. "I believe that whatever path you find yourself on will be the right one, whether you know it or not."

Iroh moves to the middle of the deck, with me following behind him, saying nothing more on the subject. The deck is big and it makes me feel small on this warship. "Stand with your legs wide apart," he commands.

I do as he says, eyes following his movements. "Do you feel the sun beating down on you, warming your skin?"

I nod, my bare feet trying to grip the metal under my toes and trying to stay upright on the moving ship. The sun is warm and I can feel it fighting off the cold of the winter. "Yes, I can," I reply even though I already nodded in reply.

I close my eyes as my body soaks up the heat of the sun. I don't hear speech for a while as I stand, but soon enough he begins again. "Self-discipline is everything in this element. Without it, fire will grow out of control and consume you."

"Just like you said with the flame in my palm. Keep it a steady size and not too big or small."

"Correct."

Again, silence consumes the conversation and I fight to keep my hands off my legs, to push off them and keep standing like this for hours. He leaves, his feet padding off in the distance, his words slowly forming in my mind. "I'll be back in a bit."

Something inside me tells me that he is going to play Pai Sho and drink jasmine tea while I squat out here in the burning sun. I shrug it off as the sun is not that bad at the moment and this leaves me to my thoughts.

* * *

Hours pass, and, still, there is no Iroh. I hear Zuko coming out, with his loud footsteps and I can tell he is going to train his bending as I am, except he is going to use fire and I am just squatting and feeling the now hot sun against my back and head.

"What are you doing?" he asks, which almost makes me jump in the air in surprise, despite me knowing he was arriving with his footsteps.

"Squatting," I reply. I keep my breath even, keep my eyes closed, and do not stand.

"Why?"

"Iroh is showing me some things."

"Uncle is not here; he is playing Pai Sho."

"So I can firebend. He said something about self-discipline."

"Really? This is his form of firebending training? That is pathetic, I'll show you some real firebending!"

I open my eyes to stare at Zuko. He stands tall in front of me, intimidating my small form. The banished prince is dressed just like he was when he faced Zhao in the Agni Kai. He has no shirt and there are red bands around his upper arms. He has red shorts on that stop just above his knee.

His fists are in front of him, one close to his chest and the other out in front of him. Zuko is in the center of the ship, eyes not moving from my gaze. And I feel like I should look away, or move, or something besides squatting.

The first fireball comes at me before I can think. Faster than my brain can keep up with. I just barely dodge it before more fireballs come flying. "What are you doing!?" I yell, my voice vibrating inside my mind and the air. "Are you stupid?" I yell louder at him.

I am dodging the heat left and right, not leaving me any time for thoughts. I can't hear anything besides the whistling of the flames as they pass my body. I'm relying on instinct, and I'm not sure how much longer it will last.

Red flames are bouncing around my vision and I can't see Zuko any longer, with his punches being thrown through the air toward me. Two of his fireballs nick my skin, getting a whimper from me. The flame is hot against my skin, but I can't stop or else I'll be consumed by Zuko's living fire.

Something surfaces in my mind as I dodge again. He's mad at Aang because he slipped through his fingers again and he's taking it out on me. "Zuko!" I hear someone shout. It's far off, but Zuko must've turned to look at it as the flames slow down.

I am also distracted for a moment by the shout. One of his fireballs hit me in the side, causing pain to cover my whole body and a scream of pain flows from my lips.

I find myself falling, my feet no longer touching the ground and there are no more flames coming from Zuko's fists. I can see an outline of Zuko standing where he was before and Iroh's dark outline running toward me. My vision blurs again and there is nothing but the sky swimming above me and my stomach wanting to vomit and my mind reeling.

Pain is everywhere, consuming my being, grabbing my clothes. There's a brief thought in my mind that my clothes are on fire, and I scold myself for choosing to take Zuko's anger. Why am I always on the receiving end of his anger?


	17. The Storm

Zia sleeps. Day after day. If it wasn't for her chest rising and falling steadily and her constant toss and turn of her body, they would think she died. And even if she didn't die from the burn, Zuko would still blame himself for the harm he caused her.

Oh, so much liquid of puss and blood from her side. So much of it and it was all Zuko's fault. All of it. Zuko's flames, flickering across her body, consuming her for a moment before she fell with a scream. Her clothes, burnt. Her side kept oozing, bleeding, weeping.

The teenager can't seem to get the image out of his head. Her falling and hitting the ground with a thud. And the scream. That loud scream that put some sense into his bending, that told him to stop before harm came to her, but it was too late. Zuko could only think about the pain he caused her and the pain his father had caused him, three years ago. Bandaged and fitful, they were paralleled, falling deep into a void of pain and intertwining stories.

Her whimpers of pain from her mouth that would not open for food. Her eyes that flutter with sleep, but wouldn't open for anything. And whenever they did open for a moment, they would be full of fear. So much fear of the death that was near her and the flames. And Zuko.

She would most likely fear the prince. She would fear his touch and his presence. All because of the burns she received. All because of the last one she got.

After two days of her turning, Iroh whispers to Zuko, "She will live, Prince Zuko. She will have a scar, but she will live. Zuko, she _will_ survive."

A scar, just like his, but not on her face where everyone could see it and identify her by it. It will be on her side, and she will see it every time she changes herself, every time she looks at her side, every time. And Zuko would only see his in the mirror, in the water, and in the eyes of everyone he sees.

Oddly enough, Zuko feels something different after her accident, if you could call it that. He feels guilt. Guilt for the innocent airbender turned firebender. Guilt for the burns he caused her. And guilt for her being here, where she is, tossing and turning.

And then there is something deep inside of him, that he doesn't even know yet. Not for a long time. Something that will change his mind for a long time. That will haunt him until that time where they reunite if they ever separate.

* * *

The nightmare. Over and over. Falling, gasping for air, hitting the water with a crash.

I can't breathe. Water is in every part of my body and I'm struggling to get it out, to spit or vomit the intruder out of my body. To get rid of the vile water. To do something other than fall and hit and grasp and receive nothing but the inevitable crashing sound of water that hits my body and makes me think of breaking bones. My own bones.

And a thought crosses my mind as I hit the water again, _Am I alive? Am I stuck in a terrible afterlife? Why haven't I moved on, reincarnated into another creature?  
_

* * *

A storm comes over the horizon, and for a day, Zuko forgets all about the girl under him. A girl recovering from a burn that is all his fault.

All that matters to him right now is getting through this storm and to the other side, where the Avatar lies, to his hope. Zuko sits in his room, watching his past fly through his eyes: playing in the fields, laughter, his mother and father.

Lightning cracks, causing Zuko to jump away from his memories. He stands, throws open his door and rushes up to the deck. Concern flashes across his face as he battles against the tide that pushes and pulls on the ship. "Where were we hit?" the banished prince shouts to Lieutenant Jee.

Water flies past Jee's face as he replies, "I don't know!" They shout over the raging water and winds, but it is if they are talking quietly.

"Zuko!" Jee shouts to be heard over the wind that rips against their flesh again. "I'm sorry about what I said about you needing to learn some respect."

Before Zuko can reply, Iroh suddenly points to the tower that looms above them. The tower is billowing smoke out. "Look!" the master firebender yells to the two.

Concern leaks its way into Zuko's voice as he notices someone hanging from the ladder leading up. "The helmsman!" Without a second thought the teenage boy rushes to the ladder, with the lieutenant right behind him.

Hastily, they begin to climb. Below them, another crack of lightning strikes, but before it hits the deck, Iroh picks up a leg, points one of his hands in the direction the lightning is, and directs it away from the small warship. All the while, a grimace is on his face.

When the lightning clears from his body, Iroh is covered in soot and his hair is standing straight up. There is no grimace on his face, just a look of him clenching his teeth and trying his best not to pass out from the pain.

The helmsman's grip on the rung slips, causing him to fall to the ship below. A hand reaches out and grabs his arm, stopping his deathly fall. Zuko passes the man down to Jee. The firebenders share a smile, small but friendly.

Together, they climb down the ladder, slowly. Once they make it to the bottom, one of the crew-members takes the helmsman from Lee's grasp and leads him below deck.

Suddenly, Zuko yells to the sky, "The Avatar!"

"What is it you want to do, sir?" the lieutenant asks him, knowing for sure that the prince will chase after him, understanding, now, that the Avatar holds Zuko's hope.

He pauses, as if contemplating things. He remembers the girl in that brief period of thought, and then Zuko turns to face Jee before he replies. "Let him go. We need to get this ship to safety."

"Then we must head directly into the eye of the storm," Iroh says, looking one last time at Zuko's hope as it flies farther into the storm. He smiles at Zuko's choice, knowing that something has changed. He thinks about Zia, about the effect of her among Zuko's soul.

* * *

The crew stares at the calmness around them. They made it to the eye of the storm without getting hurt. "Uncle, I am sorry," Zuko says quietly.

"Your apology is accepted," Iroh replies. He turns to check on the crew. Zuko stares outwards, at all that he holds and all that he's done. He feels guilty for the burn branding her side.

Out of the water, a wave erupts, showing a flying bison with people seated atop. The boy on top turns to face his pursuer. Briefly, they make eye contact, the firebender not running to chase after him.

The bison disappears in the sun, leaving the ship to ride the calm waves. Without any more disturbances, the ship goes to a port town where the Avatar just left to make repairs.

Night falls on the town and ship. A dark figure slips down the stairs in cover of the night and into the sleeping bender's room. She doesn't toss or turn, but, for the moment, she is sound asleep. No nightmare is passing across her eyes, just blackness.

And for the first time in a while, Zuko feels sorry for someone. His mind and body yearn to rectify his wrongdoings. And his heart yearns for the small amount of comfort her presence brings him.

* * *

I wake with a starving feeling in the pit of my stomach. I sit up, but my body sends pain to my mind, making my vision blur and I cry out, falling back onto my mat. But my mat no longer feels like my mat, but something softer and higher. At the thought of this, images from the earlier surface.

Fire, so much of it all around me. Zuko and his scarred face. Iroh running to me. Falling through the air and hitting the water over and over again.

Through the pain, I turn to my side and get on my hands and knees. Vomit flows through my mouth, making me taste something horrible. Load after load hits the floor not too far below me. Soon enough I am dry-heaving.

My body has no more food left in my stomach, and I feel hollow, empty, broken. "Are you all right, Zia?" someone's voice asks.

A girl, not much older than me, comes out from the shadows. She is wearing green and brown clothes. Earth Kingdom. Blonde hair falls from a high ponytail and into her swampy eyes. I shake my head, because I can't speak, aware of the flips my stomach is doing. "I'd give you food, but you would throw it up again."

The girl leans down with a cloth and wipes up the bile. The vomit is no longer there and I don't know what she will do with the cloth.

I nod my head and ask, "Who are you?" My throat is dry, my voice hoarse.

She laughs, but it is not joyous. "I am Tallo. Iroh told me to watch over you, change your bandages, the usual for a wounded person."

"Bandages?" I ask as I slowly lean against the wall bearing the Fire Nation flag.

"For your burn," she says as her finger points to my side. I remember then why my side hurts so bad, and why I was asleep for so long, fighting off the nightmare, and the infection. My hand reaches to my right side, where the pain resides. I touch it gently, resulting in a gasp of pain from my lips. She laughs. "Try not to do that again," she tells me.

"Where are you from, Tallo?" I ask after moments of silence, wanting to focus on something in the spinning world, and her voice is the only thing aside from my heavy breathing.

"I'm from an Earth Kingdom town. Iroh found me because my parents are part of-" She stops as if there's something she's not supposed to tell me.

"What are your parents part of, Tallo?"

"My parents are medics. They help in the war." But there is something she's hiding behind her calm face. Something Iroh doesn't want me to know.

"Then why aren't your parents here instead of you?"

"They are in battle, helping. Iroh needed someone that could treat a severe burn. I didn't fully realize who it would be for. I am honored to be in your presence."

"Don't be. There are more famous people in this world than me," I tell her, speaking of Aang and of people who actually have their bending still intact. But I don't feel like breaking that to her right now.

"Oh, speaking of more famous people, Iroh wanted me to get him once you woke!" She jumps up and out my door, leaving me alone and helpless. I watch as she leaves and wait for Iroh.

It doesn't take him long to walk into my room, and Tallo is not behind him. I wonder where she ran off to. "Zia, are you well?"

I smile. "It's just a burn. I've had many."

"It's good to see you awake and joking, but it seems to me that you haven't gotten a look at it yet, have you?"

My smile fades. "No," I tell him. He steps forward, closer to me. "Truthfully, Iroh, I don't want to," I whisper. I don't want to look at the thing that is causing me pain and reminds me who did it.

"Would you like some more tea?" Iroh asks.

"Can I have food with it?" My stomach lets out a grumble. I am starving, but I am afraid I will puke it up like I did before.

"Sure, but I will only give you a small amount; we don't want you throwing up again, do we?"

I watch him set up his tea things on the table so far away from me. The pot is soon whistling that it's ready and Iroh pours the liquid into two cups that had the mashed-up ingredients in it. A bowl sits beside it, steaming and full of something good.

"Soup," Iroh tells me once he notices me staring at it. "Broth with noodles."

Iroh hands me the cup, which is now cool enough for me to hold. After the tea is consumed, the firebender hands me the bowl and begins to talk, "Again, I am sorry for my nephew's actions."

I slurp a noodle into my mouth. "It is alright. I may not understand his actions, but I believe he had the best intentions. He wanted to aid me with my bending. Though, his tactics are quite rash. I feel that there is something deeply broken within him."

Iroh nods. "Prince Zuko feels deep guilt inside himself for his actions. He watched over you a lot, watching over Tallo's aid. My nephew is not heartless. He feels like us all. He feels guilt, sorrow, and love. My nephew is human," Iroh whispers as if Zuko will hear him.

I nod, aware that I am learning another slice of Zuko's past and life.

"Zia, I understand that Zuko is misunderstood. I understand that he's had a difficult past. I realize that you've been robbed of your future. I realize that everything is different now. I notice these things, but Zuko. Zuko doesn't."

I nod and watch him stand. "Tallo, if you will change Zia's bandages. I want you to get some rest and I will be back soon."

He leaves the room with a silent closing of the door and I stare at the spot in front of me. I am more useless than I was before, and I can't move without vomiting or my vision dancing. Tallo comes into the room, as if she were waiting for Iroh's instructions. She moves me as if I am as light as the air I once controlled, and she speaks about her family, and I try to focus, but I am thinking about how I should be angry with Zuko. Because of him and his family, I am here and all the people I taught and learned from are gone. However, there is nothing inside me except for pain.


End file.
